"No - he ran to the store for me. I expect him back shortly."

"Ran? I hope he drove, it's kinda far. Chuckle chuckle chuckle..."

"Yeah. Good one. You should try out for The Last Comic Standing."

"What?"

"Nevermind."

"So what are you doing?"

"Making dinner."

"What's for dinner?"

"Tomato basil soup and panini."

"Pan-what-y?"

"Panini."

"What's that?"

"It's the Italian grilled sandwich. Kind of like their version of the grilled cheese."

"Then why don't they just call it a grilled cheese?"

"Because they call it panini."

"That's dumb."

"*sigh*"

"What are you putting on your paniniliio"

"Panini."

"Yeah, that. What's on it?"

"Thinly sliced ham, Genoa salami, provolone, fresh mozzarella, tomato and fresh basil."

"That sounds gross."

"Well that's a relief, now I don't have to worry about you coming over for dinner."

"That was mean."

"Yes. But at least I am honest."

"Don't you have Velveeta?"

"You're joking, right?"

"No. That's the very best cheese!"

"It's not cheese. It's bathtub caulk in the shape of a brick."

"You can be a real food snob."

"You're just now figuring this out?"

"So when can we go to that Thai place again?"

"We've already been."

"But why didn't you call and ask me to go along?"

"Because I wanted to enjoy my meal without you staring at everyone's breasts."

"But I don't stare at yours."

"That's because you know The Husband would break your legs."

"Yeah. So was she working?"

"Was who working?"

"The waitress - you know - with the nice bazooms."

"Bazooms? Is that even a word? You're a walking idiot, you know that, right?"

"She was hot. I really think I could have had a chance with her."

"Yes. And soon Ed McMahon will show up on your porch with a check for a million dollars, too."

"Why can't you be more encouraging of me when it comes to women?"

"Why can't you step out of the cave when it comes to women?"

"So can I come for dinner?"

"No."

"Why?"

"Because you already said my dinner sounded gross."

"If I bring Velveeta will you make me a panorama?"

"It's a panini and no way in Hell is Velveeta allowed in my house. You should know better."

"Fine."

"So what are you having for dinner?"

"Spaghetti O's."

"Gross."

"It's got meatballs, too."

"Yeah, 'cause that makes it all ok. Hey, The Husband just walked in, do you want to talk to him?"