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Put The Margarine Down and No One Gets Hurt.

One of my greatest culinary gifts is the ability to spot a cube of margarine from 100 yards out.

The manufactured color is unmistakable and is easily spotted from a great distance. Upon closer inspection, it doesn't take a rocket scientist to see that "doesn't occur in nature" texture.

l friend once sent me a picture of a cake she so proudly made. Nestled on a plate in the back of the picture was that non-mistakable colored cube and the first words out of my mouth were not, "What a gorgeous cake", but instead, "Why are you using MARGARINE?"

More than being a food whore, I am a food snob. Which is most certainly the worst kind of food whore out there.

I can think of 1000 uses for margarine and none of them include baking, cooking, spreading on toast, or trying to pass as a delicate sweet cream butter. My thoughts go toward things like greasing a squeaky cupboard hinge, removing stickers from glass, general engine maintenance and other uses not involving food preparation.

Perhaps John Kerry could benefit from the moisturizing qualities of margarine in between his botox treatments.

My plea to everyone is to delight in the sweet creaminess that only fresh cow's milk can bring. Revel in the smooth and wonderful texture brought forth by nature and all that is good in the world.

Embrace the butter.

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Posted by Foodwhore at March 3, 2004 01:36 PM