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So I have this trick tomorrow night - 300 people strong.

It just so happens The Partner's vacation coincided with this weekend.

As did our two main staff persons.

So it's just me heading this one. Which I can do - but it's taxing my already tired brain in ways that aren't healthy. It's only 20 minutes after Noon-0-Clock (I don't know where that came from) and I am waning.

I left my car window open again last night. And I left half of an eaten apple on my console.

Because apparently, I have an IQ equivalent to that of a large rock.

And as the golden rule that governs my life would have it, there was a honeybee flying around my little car like he was a dancer at Studio 54. I stood there for a minute sighing that heavy, "You are such a dumbshit" sigh and opened the doors and hoped he would fly out on his own.

But he wouldn't.

So I did what any other perfectly sane human being would do by swinging my arms wildly in side my car saying, "Get out! Go! Go on - fly away!" The kicker here are the words 'perfectly sane'. A 'perfectly sane' person would have looked around to make sure no one was watching.

But no - not me.

No less than 3 people stopped by my car to see what the kerfuffle was all about and I had to explain to them that I was not, in fact, totally bonkers, but that I had a bee in my car and he wasn't getting out.

Finally The Kind Gentleman approached me and said, "If you would take that apple out of your console, the bee would leave." Now why didn't I think of that.

So I grabbed the apple and damn if that bee didn't leave my car - and dive right for that apple. So I screamed like a little girl, dropped the apple, and started waiving my arms about in that now familiar crazy person fashion.

The Kind Gentleman smiled, patted me on the arm and went about his business.

The thing is, my fear of bees is not as irrational as it (ok, I) seem. I am not allergic or anything of that nature. But once a bee flew into my hair and stung me on the neck. So when I say The Hair is very curly - I mean it's really really curly.
And when I tell you that I scream like a little girl and flail my arms all about, I have good reason to do so.

Anyway.

I got the Great Friday Bee Situation taken care of and got in my car and headed to the bank. I had all this cash I needed to deposit so I went to the drive-thru and went about my business.

And I have a lot of business going on. Calls, plans, notes, schedules, etc.

Before long I realized that I was hungry and since I no longer had the apple in my car to snack on, I decided to check out the new sandwich place by the mall. But when I got to the counter I had a panic attack because I had no cash. Where was all my cash?

"My cash is gone - oh my gosh - my cash is gone."

I think counter girl thought I was going to cry because she gave me a really sympathetic look as if to say, "If you can't afford lunch, it's ok. We will pool our money together so you don't have to starve." Finally I just paid with my check card and was on my way.

I got back in my car and frantically searched for all that cash. I was sure I had lost it (the money, not the brain) and how stupid could I be and how...

...and there was the deposit slip sitting right on my passenger seat.

No more than 3 hours had passed and I had forgotten my damn trip to the bank to deposit that cash.

I realized that I needed to take a deep breath, gather my wits and focus. Acting like a hysterical ninny wasn't going to make my day get any better. So I took a few deep breaths, ate a couple bites of my sandwich (chicken breast, hummus, feta, olives, tomatoes, lettuce on naan) and gathered myself together.

And then I did what every other perfectly sane person does when they need to relax, I got myself a double shot espresso.

Yeah. That should help.

Pray for me today, pray for my clients, and mostly pray for The Husband. That poor man has to live with me.

P.S. Martha was framed.

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Posted by Foodwhore at August 20, 2004 12:11 PM