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« Tofu, Lemondrops and...Oh, I Am Sorry, Are We Bothering You? | Main | Eating For One » Bratwurst at the OK Corral!
October 19, 2004
Ok so I stopped by the grocery store on my way home to pick up milk for The Husband. There was nary a drop in the refrigerator and when he went to make himself a bowl of tasty Honey Nut Cheerios this morning, he was devastated. (Seriously, The Husband loves his O's) "Ohhh nooo... God noooooooooooooooo" "What? Are you ok? What???" "We're out of milk. WHY GOD, WHYYYYYYY???" "Don't you think God has better things to deal with than your lack of milk?" "Like what?" said in total exhasperation. "Oh I don't know. Saving mankind?" "Part of saving mankind is ensuring I have my O's in the morning. It keeps my chi in order." "Well if it's your chi you're worried about, there's leftover chow-mein in the fridge." "Sigh" Anyway so I am at the grocery store and Sweet Old Sampler Lady is giving out rings of sausage on tooth picks. "Sample?" "Oh no thank you." "It's delicious Bratwurst." "Oh, not today. Thank you." Big smile. "You don't like Bratwurst?" "It's ok. Not my favorite." "Well you should try this, it's fabulous!" "Oh not to..." "TRY IT."
There she stood in her little black cardigan and latex gloves, red lipstick slightly askew, right hand holding out this nub of Bratwurst on a toothpick.
"Fine." I grabbed the Nub of 'Wurst and swung my cart around. "So?" "So..." "So are you going to try it?" "Eventually." As I was walking toward the seriously overpriced cheese, I turned to look over my shoulder and she was staring at me. Watching my every move. I turned the corner, looked back, raised up the Nub and smiled. I left the little Nub of 'Wurst perched next to a can of refried beans on aisle 9.
Posted by Foodwhore at October 19, 2004 06:51 PM 
Well, of course Honey Nut Cheerios are part of the karmic balance of life. Even I, among the most seriously food challenged, know that. But that bratwurst lady....she scares me. Didn't by any chance have a stubby little mustache, did she? And a lock of hair that drooped down over one eye? Wearing polished boots? Posted by: bill at October 20, 2004 07:10 AM Of course she's going to review the security tapes and discover what you did with the sausage. You may need to find a new store to shop at! Posted by: Bob at October 20, 2004 10:20 AM I think I am going to add Nub of Wurst to my everyday vocabulary. I like that. But, I can't help but think about that poor little lonely nub you left on aisle 9. You nub abandoner....... Posted by: Lina at October 20, 2004 11:38 AM The speed-freak tweeker next-door neighbor works as a Costco sample lady. She proudly proclaimed that she is a CERTIFIED FOOD HANDLER! Jeez, that scary bratwurst lady must be my neighbor's cosmic twin doppelganger. By chance, does bratwurst lady also happen to have thick whiskers sprouting from her chin? Posted by: suzanne at October 20, 2004 07:49 PM No chin hairs. But I have seen them on the girl at the deli and one of the older ladies who works at Costco. And I am pretty sure that if you have a beard, you have to wear a net over that. I am going to double check my food handling guide. And man I love that word doppleganger. Posted by: The Food Whore at October 20, 2004 08:39 PM You do know that Sample Lady probably retreived the Nub of Wurst from Aisle 9 and passed it along to another unsuspecting customer....just as it had been passed on to you from someone who had left it on Aisle 6. It's sort of like Christmas fruitcake. Posted by: Barb at October 21, 2004 04:05 AM  |