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Did I ever tell you I had A Twin?

Not a blood twin. No relation, whatsoever.

This girl and I look so much alike it even scares me. It's like they did an evil human cloning experiment somewhere deep in the mountains of North Dakota and we are a walking billboard for their work.

It's uncanny, really.

And while we may look alike; we're nothing alike. For lack of better descriptives, she's a skanky 'ho bitch. A slut. An easy piece of meat. Ready and willing.

I worry sometimes that she will be out doing something naughty and people will think it's me. Ironic, really, considering I call myself A Whore.

Her name? We will just call her Easy Esther.

I have lost count of how many times how many people have said, "Wow. You look just like..."

"A giver of free love? Yeah."

I have even run in to her a couple of times and she will say, "People think I am you."

Well, wonderful.

Anyway.

So I went shopping at Costco last night. I had a few things to get for the parental arrival and for my Trick this weekend.

And there I am, minding my own business at the meat counter when I notice this guy winking at me while his wife has his back turned. I look, raise my eyebrow, roll my eyes, look away.

Pretty soon I am over in the cheese section when there he is again, but this time he's alone. And I see him looking, smiling. I ignore him. But make up my mind that if he so much as takes one step closer, he will take a wedge of parmesean to the head.

In an intense whisper, "Psst. Esther."

I ignored him, but in my mind it hit me - he knows Esther.

"Psst... Esther!"

He started to come closer and I raised my hand and said, "Hey, pal. I am not Esther." He was perplexed.

About that time His Wife came around the corner and because I am who I am, I said, "So, exactly how do you know Esther, anyway?"

His face turned 5 shades of red and he looked like I had punched him in the gut.

Bastard.

Posted by Foodwhore at October 7, 2004 08:20 AM

Posted by: Kasey at October 7, 2004 01:45 PM

Posted by: Dr Alice at October 7, 2004 05:08 PM

Posted by: Fleece at October 7, 2004 08:26 PM