« Sexy Beast | Main | 'Tis The Season »

Project Overkill
November 13, 2004

So The Husband came home today, took me by the shoulders and sat me on the stool.

"Enough is enough."

"Excuse me?"

"We've got Project Overkill going on here and I forbid you from doing another."

As he was speaking to me I was peeking around the left side of him to make sure there weren't any drips on the wall. I had finally decided on the perfect Tuscan Orange color for my kitchen walls and I finally had a window of time to actually do the paint treatment.

"You needed this time off for your sanity. You've been pushing yourself to the limit and you need to..."

"Wait. Did you just say 'forbid'?"

"What?"

"I could swear you said 'forbid'. Did you actually say the word 'forbid' to me in a sentence?"

"I don't think I..."

"You did. You used the word 'forbid'! Who uses the word 'forbid'? I mean, besides my parents that time I was standing atop the garage with a pretend Wonder Woman cape on and I was attempting to fly."

"Well I didn't mean in that way...I..."

"Well how did you mean it? It's a pretty strong word. Who are you, Ward Cleaver?"

"Can I finish?"

"Yes. But - and I say this with love - can you make it fast? If I don't get back to painting I am going to have a line."

"What I meant was that I want you to relax. Do you realize that you have not sat still for one moment in the last 2 weekends?"

"Um. Yes?"

"You need to relax - you know - have some down time? Read a magazine, get a pedicure, go for tea...just do something relaxing."

"But I am relaxed."

"Kris. You have Tricked, you have made the Christmas cards (Oh, yeah. Did I mention to you all that I make cards?), made cards for The Flower Shop Friend, made Cards for The Mother, cleaned out all the closets, cleaned out under the bed, washed walls, rearranged the furniture."

"But I..."

"Uh... I am not finished."

"Honey... the paint?"

"You've cleaned cupboards that didn't need to be cleaned. Now you're painting - again."

"I know but..."

"But nothing. This is it. This is the last project. I brought home some cooking magazines, a nice and trashy Us Magazine, Newsweek for the mind, and you've got 2 hours to finish this and then you had better be done. I want you in the bath tub."

"I can't take a bath."

"Why can't you take a bath?"

"Um, 'cause before I started painting I re-did the caulking and it needs time to cure."

"You re-caulked the tub?"

"Yes."

"It didn't need re-caulking."

"Well but that one spot was peely and once I picked that out I just figured I would do the whole top rim."

"Why didn't you leave that for me?"

"Well you weren't here and I..."

"...and you got impatient."

"Um. Yeah."

"*Sigh*. Please, I beg of you, just relax for once."

"Ok I promise as soon as I am done painting I will relax."


So caring, The Husband is. And I do appreciate that he's looking out for me. But do you know, that Bastard actually hid my glue gun?

Posted by Foodwhore at November 13, 2004 04:47 PM
 
Powered by Movable Type 3.15