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Sexy Beast
November 11, 2004

I have been dealing with an internal battle all morning over this post.

Well, since last night, really.


Do I share it? Don't I share it? Does it really pertain to food?


So by telling you this story, I have to admit that I was shopping in a certain national undergarment store and I absolutely despise sharing personal information like that. You don't need to know. And God, I would hope you don't care to know. I mean, there are certain "Secrets" I like to keep, if you know what I mean.


Ok so now that we have that embarassing moment out of the way, let's move on to the story.


So I am in a certain undergarment store when I overheard a familiar voice behind me. I turn around thinking if I know this person, I have to be nice and say hello.

Only mid turn, I heard This Person say to the sales clerk, "I need slutty underwear. Something really over the top sexy. I just need them to make a statement."

I thought to myself, "Good for you, sister. Work those.... HOLY MOTHER OF GOD IT CANNOT BE!"

It was Moustached and British Speaking Deli Counter girl.


I can handle a lot of things.


I can handle the facial hair.

I can handle the random fake accents.


But I simply cannot handle those two traits combined with the knowledge that she may possibly be wearing the really slutty undies.


It's just too much.


Too much.

Posted by Foodwhore at November 11, 2004 01:10 PM

OK, so did you duck out of the store before she saw you? Because, you know, that'd be kind of an awkward moment trying to strike up some clever conversation with your moustached deli counter girl while shopping for underwear.

And, please tell me you didn't actually see the pair she ended up purchasing. That would just lead to horribly awful visuals, and well....you'd probably need counseling after that.

Posted by: Lina at November 11, 2004 02:22 PM

I think I've voiced this before. She needs something to take people's mind off the moustache. I mean, really, if you went into the deli and she was wearing nothing but the slutty underwear, would you really notice the moustache? The accent? I rest my case!

Posted by: Bob at November 11, 2004 02:48 PM

holy shite! I can't remember how I got to your blog, (from one of my daily reads) but i am so hooked now. I've read your archives and I can't count how many times I have literally laughed out loud. A couple times I almost spewed my water all over my keyboard. I love the way you write...it's hysterical! can't wait to read more!

Posted by: Nerwen at November 12, 2004 10:05 AM

Did she see you?!?!

Posted by: veg4me at November 12, 2004 10:59 AM

Now you won't know what to think of first, the hair or the slutty undies. Either way those two are an awful thought. In fact they look pretty bad just being mentioned in the same sentence. oh ew.

Maybe it's time to find a new Deli?

Posted by: Sie at November 12, 2004 12:31 PM

Now I need a shower I feel dirty!!

Posted by: Gail at November 12, 2004 01:59 PM

Wow. Your posts make my day. I do feel bad you have to go through what you do. But they really do make my day. hahha

Posted by: Sasha at November 12, 2004 06:54 PM

So what did you buy. LMAO. (I don't really wanna know).

Posted by: Averyl at November 13, 2004 05:55 AM
 
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