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So I got a call this afternoon.

It's for a trick next July.

I gave the woman cool points for being so on top of things.

But then she requested - demanded, rather - that I get her out a quote by Thanksgiving.

Cool points taken away.

Doesn't anyone respect The Most Adored Food Holiday In All The Land? I mean, this isn't just the day I give thanks in honor of The Pilgrims who landed in The Friend in Boston's back yard, this is The Big Show. The day it all happens. The day everyone - women included - secretly unbutton their pants at the dinner table for all the gluttony before them.

The day turkey asses get voilated and dishes like green bean casserole and candied yams and jello salads are all acceptable, Atkins or not.

This is the day I dream of all year long, damnit.

Anyway.

That's not the worst of it. The worst of it is that today, I became The Middle Man.

So often the dynamics of weddings are fabulous - it's about two families joining together in white toulle and champagne bliss.

But so often the dynamics of weddings are not so fabulous - it's about two competing families fighting over bragging rights of who spent more money on the gig.

In this case I believe it's going to be the latter.

You see, last week I got a phone call from The Bride's Father asking me to put him on the calendar for The Rehearsal Dinner. We would talk details in say, oh, April or May. But He just wanted to be in the books.(And for the record, this Bride's Father is loaded. Bucks up. Playing with the big boys. And he's a very, very nice man.) No problem. Date saved.

The Groom's Family is from out of town and a little tight on the cash flow. So as not to be a burden to them, The Bride's Father was planning to set up The Rehearsal Dinner himself. This is usually something The Groom's Family takes care of.

I don't question when these things happen. I am not in the business to school people on who should pay for what. As long as I get paid and you give me fodder for my blog, I am a happy camper.

So today when I received a phone call from The Groom's Mother, I did not think it was verbotten to mention I had already received a call from The Bride's Father.

Again, my assumptions were amiss.

The Groom's Mother was not at all happy and wanted me to be assured that the Groom's Family would be in charge and it would be even more fabulous than something The Bride's Family could pull off. And I, as in me, was to inform The Bride's Father that it was taken care of. And I, as in me, was to pull out all the stops for this function, no holds barred.

Well, as long as it was cheap, of course.

Great.

Posted by Foodwhore at November 19, 2004 06:46 PM

Posted by: Wendy at November 20, 2004 09:01 AM

Posted by: HomefrontSix at November 20, 2004 06:58 PM

Posted by: Barb at November 21, 2004 03:58 AM

Posted by: veg4me at November 21, 2004 02:23 PM