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I should have known how Saturday night's Trick was going to go when I saw that decorative barbed wire.

(I managed to remain bloodless, by the way)

We weren't 20 minutes into the thing before The Bartender came storming into the kitchen to get the mop - someone spilled a tray of beer.

We knew then that this was going to be a "typical" night. And The Friend in Texas knows what I mean by "typical".

The thing is, the dynamic you have when The Bride is all of 19 and The Groom is all of 22 is a room full of drunken children. So you spend your night bobbing and weaving through throngs of stumbling fools while you try to balance trays of hot food.

And in this case, hot bean dip.

That's right I said bean dip.

The Brides' Mother wanted the placed filled with family favorites; one of them being bean dip. Bean dip has it's place - like at football parties or backyard bar-b-ques - But at a wedding? A wedding the family wants to be "elegant"?

I tried encourage something in it's place - something more appropriate for the meal at hand - but The Bride's Mother insisted that The Bride wanted bean dip because that's "her favorite snack".

Fine. What the Hell do I know.

Anyway.

It was shortly after The Great Beer Spillage that The Crabby Man came storming in the kitchen (and you know how we love that) and asked for 7-Up. I guess somewhere along his journey he assumed our kitchen was the McDonald's drive-up window because when his request for 7-up was declined, he was totally disgusted with our "lack of having what the customer wants".

Upon his dramatic exit from the kitchen, I opted to step outside for a break. I found refuge on an upside down bucket and leaned back with a big sigh and asked myself that same question I ask myself every time I do this. Is this really what I love to do???

After about 5 minutes of the bucket top introspection, I heard the giggles of a few girls around the corner sharing a cigarette, hoping their parents wouldn't come out to find them.

"Hurry up. I just saw my dad heading this way!"

GIGGLE GIGGLE GIGGLE

I couldn't help but chuckle at the irony of it all.

These people spent $5000 in food and another $1000 for liquor and there is no doubt that at some point during the evening someone was going to have to clean up liquor-induced bean dip vomit.

Posted by Foodwhore at December 7, 2004 10:28 AM

Posted by: Bob at December 7, 2004 01:06 PM