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Angry Little Man and His Cheese
January 21, 2005

Every summer we have a standing Trick Appointment to cater a family picnic for a large corporation.

It's pretty standard fare; hamburgers, hot dogs, salads, iced beverages, beans, you get the point.

It will be two years ago this coming July that the ill-fated Cheesburger Incident of '03 happened.

I was standing at the grill flipping the burgers, some topped with cheese, others without.

People would come to me and request the pattie of their choice and be on their merry way.

Happy Corporate Guy was at the grill and took the last pattie sans cheese and I had just put a flipped a new batch of burgers and was only about 4 minutes out from having fresh ones ready to go.

So up comes Angry Little Man and requests a burger, no cheese. I informed him I was out, but was just minutes away from having fresh ones ready to roll.

And that ticked him off.


He sighed heavily and said, "Oh just forget it!" , and with that he slammed his entire plate of food - food that he had just dished up - into the garbage. And then he stomped off.


I just stood there feeling terrible - I don't like to disappoint the customer - but I thought I was cheery and did the best I could. The Partner was working the other grill and just rolled her eyes and shook her head. About that time Corporate Head Guy approached and said, "Don't worry. Bob's an angry troll. We love him. But he's an angry troll." So I shrugged it off and went about my business. The day went fabulous, Corporate People were happy, all was well.

So cut to about 2 weeks later and I am walking into a restaurant and Angry Little Man was walking out. He made eye contact with me, scoffed, and kept walking. The Husband was with me and said, "What was that all about?" and I had to explain that I didn't have a cheeseless burger ready for him at the exact and precise moment he wanted it. "And yet you still want to do this for a living?" was the husband's response. (Honestly, the answer to that question is still up for debate.)

Over the last couple of years I have run into Angry Little Man at different public places and each time he glares and scoffs. It's sort of become a game in my life, really.


So I just now got home from The Grocery Store where while loading the moving belt thingy with my goods, someone came up in line behind me.

And it was Angry Little Man.

Ahh great.


So I looked up and smiled and as I expected he glared and scoffed. Perhaps this time it was because I had about 4 different cheeses rolling by me and was extra offensive?


Now, I hate to classify an entire portion of the populace but it would appear to me that when One is Lactose Intollerant, it causes One to become People Intollerant, as well.


Or perhaps it simply makes them ridiculous grudge-bearing miserable bastards.

Posted by Foodwhore at January 21, 2005 06:39 PM

You really need to start carrying a cheeseless burger in your pocket - the next time you see him you can, ummm, "serve" it to him and have closure.

Posted by: Barb at January 22, 2005 03:14 AM

That man really knows how to carry a grudge. It's almost admirable.

Posted by: Dr Alice at January 23, 2005 03:21 PM

Think of the two years of scoffing he would've saved himself if he had just waited 5 minutes for a burger.

I'm pretty lactose intolerant, but I think since I am not a tiny troll, I am a little less people intolerant.

Posted by: veg4me at January 23, 2005 07:49 PM

Definitely a case of SGS (short guy syndrome)... ~;^)

Posted by: thefoxymama at January 24, 2005 07:36 PM

Angry little man had probably been dissed all his life by beautiful, tall women.

Posted by: Valerie at January 25, 2005 06:34 PM

I love cheese in all its many forms, but I loathe it on burgers. However, I probably would have been pleased by the answer of "Cheeseless burgers will be ready momentarily," as it would mean that *my* burger would be hotter and fresher, and would still have those little steam curlicues rising from it.

Mr. Glare-N-Scoff needs serious help.

Posted by: akeeyu at January 28, 2005 03:30 PM
 
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