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It's Not Just Us
January 28, 2005

So I have been dealing with this woman - we will call her Cheap Cindy - and after much bargaing across the table, we finally came to an agreement that we were not the Whores for her.

She wanted everything cheap - hence the moniker.

And it's not that I am such a raging bitch of a Money Monger, but I have to earn a damn living. And Tricking big parties for $5.00 per person (no, that was not a typo) is not how I care to spend a Saturday night.

I would much rather sell my soul to the Devil for $25.00 per person and at least at the end of the night when I was sitting against a wall talking to myself from all the stress, I would know I had some greenbacks in my wallet to buy something pretty.


So I get this call from Cheap Cindy wanting to know if I could at least "help her with the menu", which in Cheap Cindy's mind meant she wanted to come to my kitchen, have me show her how to make the dishes she wanted for $5.00 (in my world, that's a balogne sandwhich), show her how to display it, and tell her how much to buy.


Now, if Cheap Cindy were a friend who's down on her luck I would be all over that - I would probably just go ahead and Trick the thing to help her out. But in this case, the answer was a big fat, "No." To which Cheap Cindy replied with a shocked gasp.

Lady, if I was in the business not to make money, I would be a non-profit organization.


So I am chatting with my friend The Flower Shop Owner over a nice afternoon wind down drink of - you guessed it - a Lemon Drop, and I was sharing my story. The Flower Shop Owner listened and her eyes got bigger and bigger and bigger. "I know, it's totally shocking, right?" I asked?

"I wish I could say it was."

"What do you mean?"

"I mean I had Cheap Cindy in here last month and she decided not to use me for flowers because I was too expensive."

"Oh yeah... and..."

At this point I shook up another batch of the 'drops.

"And she called me and asked if she could come in and I could just show her what flowers to buy, who to buy them from, and how to arrange them. She also wanted detailed information on making a bridal bouquet."

"No."

"Yes."

"My God."

"I know."

"What do you bet her next call is to our friend the Liquor Store Lady and she asks how to distill her own vodka."

"We should call Liquor Store Lady and warn her."

"We totally should. More Lemon Drop?"

"Please."

"Oh - and we really need to call photographer Phil to warn him, too."

"Oh no that's covered. She told me her uncle Vinny was doing the shots."

"Of course he is."

"Of course, indeed."

"People are frigging idiots."

"You can say that again."

"People are friggin..."

"Seriously, I was joking."

"Yeah."

"Cheers."

"Cheers."


Posted by Foodwhore at January 28, 2005 05:42 PM

The worst thing about people like Cheap Cindy is that they take up time. Time that could be more profitably spent, oh, breathing. When I have to deal with people like her, I deeply resent every second of my time I have to spend on them.

Posted by: Dr. Alice at January 28, 2005 07:23 PM

'Cindy' couldn't have just rented out the OldTyme Country Buffet and saved herself the effort? eesh....

Posted by: Amy at January 29, 2005 08:38 AM

Ok, did I miss the Lemon Drops recipe?

Posted by: Gal at January 29, 2005 08:40 AM

Reminds me of the time someone asked me to make a dress for her for $5.00.

Or the person who offered $20.00 as payment for making her wedding veil.

Posted by: Valerie at January 29, 2005 06:34 PM
 
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