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So it's Day 2 of "Winter Storm Watch 2005!!!...duh duh duh duuuhhhh" and it's not so much a Storm Watch now as it is a Storm Reality.

It's freaking cold.

I got up at 6:30 this morning only to find I couldn't see out my windows. We were in blizzard conditions and my worst fears came true; The Weatherman was right.

The Bastard.

I called The Sister and they live far enough out of the city to be snowed in by "Drifts at least 6 feet high". So I guess going to her place for coffee was out.

So I ran downstairs in my stocking feet to peer out the window to get a good look at My Car, only I couldn't find it, it was covered by a snow drift. "Oh, well", I thought. That was the safest place for it. Then my phone rang so I bolted up the steps and when I hit the floor I slid and my foot slammed into the bookcase.

Yeah, who couldn't see that coming.

After lying on the floor in a fit of dramatics I realized what I had thought - pinky toe. Totally broken. It had, after all, been at least 4 months since I broke the Little Gipper so in all reality, it was time.

Now, I am sure you're all thinking that I must make all this stuff up about broken toes and dropped things but I can assure you I do not. When I say I am a Klutz - I mean I am The Most Fabulous Klutz In All the Land. Truth is, I don't actually tell you people half the stuff I do for fear someone's going to call Whore Protective Services and have me locked up for self-destructive behavior.

The thing is, I should be forced to live in a big giant ball of those plastic packing bubbles that are so fun to pop. The world - and my body - would be a much safer place.

Anyway.

So the bad news is The Car was snowed in, but the good news is The Husband had the good sense to buy a 4-Wheel drive vehicle some years back. It's not that I had to go anywhere today, but the idea of actually being stuck at home, forced to do something wacky like relax for a day drives me to fits of hysteria and I wind up clanking a coffee cup on the window screaming, "Attica... ATTICA!"

I called The Mother to see if she needed us to come dig her out and she did, so we did. Wahoo! An escape. We got her situated and headed back home when I realized we were out of milk and, well, hey we all know I needed eggs. So The Husband set to a project and I was on my merry way.

I hit the gas station, the drug store (needed a little Motrin for Mr. Toe), Blockbuster (Sex & The City Marathon, thankyouverymuch) and The Dreaded Grocery Store. I was determined this time that I would make it in and out without incident. I was strategic in my planning. I got a cart and filled it with heavy things like milk and bottles of water and orange juice so as to give me leverage on my way back to the truck.

Funny thing about being in "Winter Storm Watch 2005!!! duh...duh...duuuhhhhhh", people's shopping needs have changed. Last night it was all about bottled water and bulk products. Today it was all about cases of beer, massive chips, and cigarettes - whether they smoked or not. The romanticism of the snow had worn off and people needed whatever it took to get through being forced to endure yet another day (2, actually, according to the weatherman) of blizzard-like conditions and fierce cold. It was time to get out the big boys - beer and chips and nicotine.

Me? I got myself the latest InStyle Magazine and heavy things. Oh, and English Muffins for the proverbial Whore Family Tradition of having mini pizzas made on English Muffins for a fun snack.

Oh, yeah. And I got eggs.

So I got to the truck without incident and trollied on my merry way through the Great Snow Banks of '05.

I got home just in time, too. The pinky toe was starting to swell.

Poor Little Gipper.

Posted by Foodwhore at January 7, 2005 06:56 PM

Posted by: veg4me at January 8, 2005 07:03 AM

Posted by: Spic Chick at January 8, 2005 12:57 PM

Posted by: Dr Alice at January 8, 2005 05:32 PM