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So I was in The Mall last night.

And I hate shopping malls.

Shopping, I love. (Heads up to The Friend in Texas. I bought a new purse.)

But the gargantuan retail centers known as "The Mall" make me crazy. I don't know if it's all the recycled air or if it's the make-shift art and water sculptures they cram into a rotunda to make you think you're observing a great display at The Museum of Modern Art.

Or perhaps it's all the Paris Hilton wannabees running around in too-skimpy clothing and yacking on their cel phones like they have some major world crisis to discuss.

It's hard to pinpoint where my greatest disdain comes from, really. But give me a fast-paced inner city store over the air-conditioned behemoth, any old day.

Anyway.

So I was at The Mall because The Friend had an eye exam, causing her pupils to remain dialated to the size of saucers for approximately 2 hours post appointment. And I volunteered to drive her and help her run errands, after.

Which lead us to The Mall, much to my chagrin.

I was in need of some caffiene so I made my way to the Land of Communal Eating, otherwise known as The Food Court. Fortunately my Starbuck's fix was a short distance away but the line was long so I opted to do what any other normal, Bitchy Food Snob would do in my position - I people watched.

It's amazing to me how nonchalont people are about carting their food upon carrying trays upon which God knows who or what was spilled all over the top, to a dirty table where God knows who or what was spilled all over the top. There are people running around with bottles of cleaning solution and rags, but unless you have an extra $20-spot to bribe them over, you're going to be hard pressed to pull them away from their conversation over by the garbage cans. Bleh.

From my vantage point in the coffee line I could see all of the food vendors. Chinese, fish, McDonald's, Japanese, Mexican, some pizza place, a Thai place, and a few other obscure places who's names I did not recognize. And people where everywhere waiting desperately for food to fill their trays with mass-produced food so they could body slam their way over to a dirty table and shovel the food in their mouths as it if were The Last Slice Of PizzaBurritoRiceBowlFishStickCornDogOrangeJuilusCalzoneChickenNugget Before The End of All Time.

And I don't know if this is common to all Communal Feeding Areas but I found that the ratio of people chewing with their mouths open to those who were not was uncomfortably high.

I didn't want to stare, really. But it was kind of like watching a train wreck.

Thankfully it was my turn for coffee and I ordered my standard double shot and decided to leave the vicinity so I could stop staring at evyone.

I am sure it's no surprise when I tell you that my annoying snobbishness puts me in a place where I would never allow myself to get a tray full of food and sit at a dirty table and eat.

I would, however, buy something to take outside the Communal Feeding area.

Which is why I got a big-ass Cinnabon Cinamon Roll to cram in my mouth on the walk back to the car.

Which is a double standard, I know this. But I would like to think that my complicated set of ideals are just a part of my charm.

And I don't know if it was fate or retribution for the staring, but I totally got icing in my hair.

Posted by Foodwhore at March 3, 2005 11:11 AM

Posted by: Dr Alice at March 3, 2005 08:53 PM

Posted by: veg4me at March 3, 2005 09:07 PM

Posted by: denise at March 4, 2005 06:50 AM

Posted by: TX Friend at March 4, 2005 07:06 AM

Posted by: HomefrontSix at March 4, 2005 10:40 AM

Posted by: Food Whore at March 4, 2005 11:12 AM

Posted by: Paul at March 6, 2005 05:52 AM