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Damn Eggs
March 01, 2005

I ran out of eggs in the middle of making French Toast batter last night.

So I threw on my shoes and made a beeline for The Grocery Store, still donning my apron.

Which - I mean, is it so bad to wear an apron to The Grocery Store? I have quite a variety of them (aprons, that is), and this particular apron is a lovely brown with wine bottles on the pocket. And when I walked in the door I was greeted with looks as if I was only wearing an apron - nothing else.

People are dumb.

So anyway I needed the eggs. And while I was there I grabbed some kale for tonight's soup, heavy cream, some gorgonzola cheese, a bunch of bananas, a couple shallots, and a bottle of Merlot. I have such a hard time focusing when I go to The Place Which Sells Food. I bounce back and forth through the aisles like a loose pinball finding myself enamored with such things as a new brand of cornichon. "Ohhh - tiny pickles - PRETTY!"


I made it through the check-out line without incident and bid my adieu to the place. And when I got out to my car, I put everything on top of the car to free up my hand to unlock the door. I rushed to put everything on my seat and get back home in time to check on the bacon I had just put in the oven to cook. The Husband was home and I told him to keep an eye on it but the last time I baked cookies and asked him to watch the batch while I was on the phone with A Client, they came out looking like lumpy charcoal briquettes.


Ok so where was I? Oh, yeah, I put the stuff in the car but left the eggs on top so I could put them on the floor behind my seat. But then I again got distracted with something pretty - the brand new BMW my friend drove up in to say hello.

After short but sweet chat I got in my car and I started it up and then began driving way out of the parking lot when SHIT! I remembered that I never put the eggs behind my seat like I had planned so I slammed on my breaks. Which, yeah. But by the Grace of God the egg carton was situated well enough that it didn't slide off the roof of my car - though it did slide hard enough that they teetered like a see-saw between the roof and winshield.

Which, when I think about it, is kind of a metaphor for my sanity. I am always teetering between the safety of the roof or the certain crackage a slide down the windshield would bring. I got lucky this time, though - only one egg cracked.

Which is more than I can say for me.

Posted by Foodwhore at March 1, 2005 01:56 PM

Just read the blog on the pesky vegetarians, and I think I can top it. A guest at a party called ahead for a kosher meal. I keep a supply of kosher frozen dinners, commplete with hermetically sealed plastic utensils, to accomodate these requests. It's not an elegant solution, but it's really the only feasible one, and better than having the guest go hungry. When I asked if they would prefer chicken or beef, they requested shrimp! They might as well have asked for a pork chop.

Posted by: Paula at March 1, 2005 03:46 PM

Pork chops with a side of oyster dressing...

People make me crazy.

Posted by: Food Whore at March 1, 2005 04:20 PM

Your life sounds so much like mine, with better food...(I'm a clothes whore) and get very distracted by bright packaging and fancy names at the store and forget about the blah but essential veggies and flour and have to dash to the store back in my jammies and denim jacket.

Posted by: Nish at March 1, 2005 11:32 PM

great blog kicks rear

Posted by: Chick Trick at March 28, 2005 12:58 PM
 
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