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Green Eggs & Ham
March 15, 2005

So I got a call from a Client who's throwing a little St. Patrick's Day thing and she wanted to know how to make all of her food green.


"Green?"

"Yes, you know, for St. Patty's Day."

"So you want all of the food to be green?"

"All of it. Doesn't that sound fun?"

"Well, if it sounds fun to you then I suppose so. But some things just weren't meant to be green."

"I thought of food coloring for everything..."

"Wait... wait. No. I can't let you do that."

"Why? Wouldn't green mashed potatoes be fun!"

"Had it occured to you to make some nice corned beef and cabbage - some boiled potatoes, perhaps? Toss a little pesto around if you need the green."

"I want all of it green. Even the things that aren't supposed to be!"


Now, being of Irish blood myself I can appreciate the idea that you want to make the day special. But unless people are direct descendants of the good Dr. Seuss, I am thinking that a plate full of things that aren't normally green might be a bit off-putting.


But what the Hell to I know. I left a 12 pack of ginger-ale on top of my car this afternoon.


I really need a vaction.

Posted by Foodwhore at March 15, 2005 06:52 PM

Hmmm, I had a bad/good experience my first time cooking crepes because I demanded that they be dyed green, just for the heck of it (no holiday mind you- I was in fourth grade!). Problem was that green is oddly- given its prevalence in the natural world- an unappetizing color... so no one else would touch the crepes, lucky me. Ever notice how processed diet food is always packaged in green? That way you eat even less...

I say make your clients sign a we-made-you-do-it prenup :)

Posted by: McAuliflower at March 15, 2005 07:50 PM

I was once served an Irish Coffee with a puff of GREEN whipped cream on top.

It was oddly off-putting. (Or maybe, not so odd that it was off-putting.)

BTW, is it true that you will pee green if you drink green beer? If so, that's a scary thing; your blood runs green till your kidneys take care of the problem. Eek.

Posted by: Dr Alice at March 15, 2005 09:18 PM

Didn't you do that with the eggs, too? You should mount a little basket up on top of your car to put things in while you are distracted!! That way you can drive off with not problems!!

Posted by: sandy at March 15, 2005 09:19 PM

You didn't tell her there was a surcharge for green food?

Posted by: Barb at March 16, 2005 02:12 AM

(I am Half Irish for the record)Maybe you could inform her of the blessed day of March 17 and it's proximity to Easter this year. Wrap bottle after bottle of Guinness in green paper, and let the guests hunt till the 'wee hours. My breakfast mug is only 8 hours away....Cheers everyone!

Posted by: Paul at March 16, 2005 10:16 PM

Paul you made me laugh! I have a friend who has a beer hunt at his farm every Easter. It's a fantastic good idea and especially fun when you find the previous Easter beers in October.

Posted by: McAuliflower at March 17, 2005 11:16 AM

Sandy - yes. I did that with the eggs. I need a nice storage compartment on top of my car to prevent such things.


And a beer hunt??? And here I thought my family was brilliant by sticking cash in the eggs. Last year's top prize was $50.

Hmmm... I wonder how hard it would be to hide a shaker full of lemon drops...

Posted by: The Food Whore at March 17, 2005 11:23 AM
 
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