Diary of The Food Whore: Just to Give You An Idea

Just to Give You An Idea

April 19, 2005

It's been a whirlwind few days.

Week.

Whatever.

After getting dumped by the evil tightwad as whined about in the previous post, I went out and took on some retail therapy.

Nothing makes a girl feel better than a new pair of shoes.

And earrings.

And pants.

And a couple of skirts.

And a sweater.

And a mandolin slicer.

And a couple of paring knives.

Oh, and a purse.

So I was at the grocery store and I was wearing my new funky cardigan sweater. Now, the sweater has these little shoulder pads. Not the Sue Ellen Ewing kind of shoulder pads from the 80's, but instaed these little flesh colored ones held in place by a couple of simple stiches. (I don't make the clothes, people, I just wear them)

Anyway.

So I'm in he grocery store and I'm back by the meat counter trying to talk my butcher into giving me a good deal on the prime rib. Another gentleman was looking over the rib steaks and we were making small talk. Well, as I leaned over the meat counter, one of the shoulder pads from my sweater fell into the display case. And the thing is - that damn shoulder pad looked a lot like one of those bra inserts they sell to enhance the cleavage.

Both The Butcher and The Gentleman locked eyes. And then they both looked at me.

I sighed heavily and dropped my head. "Oh this is perfect.", I said.

Neither man said a word.

I picked up the shoulder pad and placed it back where it came from, praying it would stay until I could get out of the store. In doing so, both men gave out a little sigh. The Gentleman grabbed a couple of rib steaks and smiled.

And either out of sympathy or a total fascination with my sweater, I got a really good price on the prime rib.

Posted by Foodwhore at April 19, 2005 09:58 AM

Oh. My. God.

Posted by: shelley at April 19, 2005 12:00 PM

If it hadn't happened to you, I am sure it would have happened to me. I totally have that kind of life.

Posted by: snackish at April 19, 2005 12:58 PM

That was great. I laughed so loud I'm sure the 3 year old in the next room thinks I'm crazy. LOVE the site and thanks for turning me on to damomma as well. You two must have a blast together!

Posted by: Meg at April 19, 2005 01:02 PM

Oh Whore, I am so going to get fired. I have spent the better part of the day reading your archives. But at least I will be out the door laughing! Thanks for the great blog!

Posted by: JCS at April 19, 2005 01:48 PM

Just think of the deal you would've gotten if it had been an actual bra insert and you had to replace it.

Posted by: veg4me at April 19, 2005 02:07 PM

You have got some crazy kind out bad luck. But it's great for your readers! Hilarious.

Posted by: molly at April 19, 2005 03:21 PM

I'm with Veg - you should have stuck it back in your bra. The butcher either would have given you a huge discount or lopped off a finger....

Posted by: Barb at April 20, 2005 02:59 AM

I am laughing so loud right now!

Hey, and anything that will get you a discount on prime rib is great!

Posted by: ChefCDL at April 20, 2005 10:27 AM

I would make that your official meat-shopping sweater! Thanks for the laugh!

Posted by: Annie at April 21, 2005 08:56 AM

That is too funny!!!

Posted by: sandy at April 21, 2005 11:17 AM