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« Strange Beginnings | Main | Priceless » Nosy Nancy
April 06, 2005
So I am in the grocery store, minding my own business, when around the corner came Nosy Nancy.
God love her. So I am grabbing a bottle of fennel seed when I hear, "Oh, you have broccoli. What will you make with that?" "Um, probably broccoli." I smile and laugh. "Oh. I thought it would be some fancy schmancy dish." "No, not this time." More smiling. "What's this here - rico...how do you say this?" "Ricotta. It's ricotta cheese." "And what will you make with that?" "I am not sure, yet. Possibly stuffed shells. But I haven't decided." "And - oh. Fancy. You buy the real mozarella. What will you make with that?" *sigh* "A lot of things." "Like what?" "Just - a lot of things." "Are these olives? I have never seen olives like this." "They are Greek." "Oh. I like my olives from a can." "Olives from a can are just fine." "What will you make with the Greek olives?" "Maybe nothing - I like to eat them plain." "Oh. I like olives on my pizza." "Yes that's very good." "And what's this?" "It's Kale." "You eat Kale?" "No, I just put it in my cart for a garnish." And I threw my head back and laughed.
No one ever does. Posted by Foodwhore at April 6, 2005 04:13 PM 
I got it... Posted by: HomefrontSix at April 6, 2005 11:29 PM You always cause me to have a hearty laugh, for which I am grateful. I just wish I knew somebody like that, I never have enough outlet for my sarcasm, and the Wife has had enough of it, poor soul. Posted by: Tony S. at April 7, 2005 01:24 AM I got it. And it was especially funny since MIL's name is Nancy and she loves to tell long stories based on nothing other than what she imagined to be true. By the way, what type of wine is best with a shopping cart? Posted by: Barb at April 7, 2005 02:49 AM And after a good shopping cart, does one serve fruit and cheese, something decadently chocolate, or simply a good stiff espresso? You get the BEST lines... :) Posted by: baklavaqueen at April 7, 2005 03:35 AM Great blog. Once again you've elevated my food presentation. While I formerly garnished my shopping cart with curly parsley, I'll give kale a try... Posted by: Scott P at April 7, 2005 07:18 AM Oh my. I thought there was only one of these and her name was Dolores. It's torture running into her in my hometown (and really bad if it's at church and I'm trying so hard - so hard I tell you - not to explode with smartass answers). On some level she means well but the utter lack of humor and irony just kills me. Posted by: Kate at April 7, 2005 08:53 AM All shopping carts should be garnished. Otherwise, you are tooling them around the store -naked-. How shameless and awful is that? Posted by: Barbara at April 7, 2005 11:42 AM I got it. But than my mom's a chef...that might be why... Posted by: Morganna at April 7, 2005 01:24 PM My boss is really starting to wonder what is causing me to guffaw and chortle on my lunch hour. Think I should share my whore with him? Posted by: Fatemeh at April 7, 2005 01:37 PM You should shop in Berkeley...Foodie/Greenie paradise rife with material for a thousand stand-up comedians. My personal favorite is the deodorant eschewing Greenie with two oranges, a paper bag of groats, a sheaf of chard and a bottle of organic goats milk in their basket, who loudly remarks that you are an unconscionable twat polluting the earth with cellophane Biscotti wrappers. What one goes through for good Arugula and kosher chicken. Posted by: BJ at April 7, 2005 06:32 PM I used to work with a manager, who used to be a Chef, when we were slammed and tensions were at a peak, he would walk on the line, grab a few leaves and throw them at us, while yelling in his best crazed terrorist voice "I KALE YOU!" I don't care how hard life was at that moment, everyone laughed and the night got better in an instant Posted by: Paul at April 8, 2005 01:02 AM Thanks for all the good laughs. I think I'll have a dessert cart with a pint of coconut ice cream, bananas, and a sprig of mint for garnish. Ciao and chow! Posted by: Wilma at April 8, 2005 08:25 PM  |