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Oh, Dear.
April 21, 2005

Ok so I was in the grocery store.

And yes, I know you're all thinking - it's not humanly possible (or normal) for a person to spend that much time in the grocery store.

But it is.


They all know me by name and I have actually considered having my mail forwarded there.


Anyway.

So I am in the navata del formaggio.

Did you all catch that? I said navata del formaggio.

That's right people, I am learning to speak Italian. And for those of you who aren't, that statements means - Cheese Aisle.


Anyway, I'm in the cheese aisle and I run into The Crying Lady.


To give you a little back story, The Crying Lady is a wonderful woman. She's kind and generous and has a wonderful spirit. I have known her socially for nearly 10 years and 6 years ago we Tricked her daughter's wedding.

The thing is, she cries all the damn time.

And it's not because she's particularly sad, it's just that she is so overcome with emotion that she has no other option but to cry.

So we greeted one another and then she started in.

"Do you realize it's been exactly 6 years since you catered Kitty's wedding?"

"Has it been that long? Seems like yesterday."

"You know we still talk about that. *sniff* It was so special that you would do that for us."

At this point her eyes welled up with tears.


"Well, it was quite a fun experience. It was one of the first Tricks we ever did."

And let me tell you, it wasn't fun, it was a nightmare. 125 people RSVP'd - 207 showed up. 10-15 people can be fudged. But 82 extra is a freaking nightmare. At one point I found The Partner in the back hall lying in the fetal position, which pretty much defeated my plan to stick my head in the oven. Someone had to be the sane one.

But the guest were none the wiser. Everyone got something to eat. Everyone was gracious enough to bring the dirty dishes to the kitchen to be washed - since there weren't enough plates. And everyone raved about the food. But It nearly made us give up the idea that we could do this for a living. (It was also the catalyst for my great love of vodka)


"It was just so special...*sniff*... you worked so hard and you never complained with all the extra people. And... "

And this is the part where she broke into an all out bawl. A cartoon depiction of the moment would have shown buckets of tears falling from her face and flooding the navata del formaggio.

I have known her long enough to know that instead of trying to comfort her, you simply smile, nod, and give her a pat on the shoulder. She gets through it.


But other people don't know that and they started to stare. In face, the lady standing behind her must have thought I said something horrible because she glared at me so intensely as she walked by that I gulped a little bit.


But at least my shoulder pad didn't fall out.

Posted by Foodwhore at April 21, 2005 01:20 PM

Love the wedding story. Those people who don't RSVP warm my heart and give me a happy feeling about humanity...oh ok not so much.

I have never been a real caterer but have done some big food events for myself and friends. People's behavior always shocks me. Like the woman who asked me if she could bring her dog to my big dessert fiesta at my house. I told her definitely not. (I had 2 cats) She of course brought the damn dog.

And the time I tried using those microscopic hors d'oeuvres plates for a friend's art opening (I think they are 4 inches or maybe 5). I looked over and this guy had a plate, about 8 inches high of hors d'oeuvres stacked on top of it, and his other hand on top like the bread on top of a huge hors d'oeuvres dagwood sandwich.

I also had a Crying Person. My ex BF. He could cry at anything - Rotary Club meetings, songs on the radio, telling what happened that day. It got pretty embarrassing.

Posted by: snackish at April 21, 2005 03:59 PM

Ok...I have to un-lurk on this one. I just got the funniest image in my head.

There is the one woman crying, the other one glaring, you look around helpless and *plop* your shoulder pads drop out for absolutely no reason.

Sorry..but I get amused by the darndest things.

Must say, that I love your journal. You take the everyday and make it so funny.

Keep it up!!

Posted by: Michael at April 21, 2005 04:19 PM

Shoulder pad = makeshift tissue for crying lady.

Posted by: veg4me at April 21, 2005 09:30 PM

Sounds like Crying Lady could use a Prozac the size of Montana.

Posted by: Biscuit Girl at April 22, 2005 07:24 AM

 
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