Wow, you win. Suddenly, everyone wants me to do things for $20/head. I honestly do *not* understand it. Maybe these are people who get a thrill out of me telling them they're out of their minds...in polite language, in case I've misunderstood the request.

Salmon & chicken for under 15/head? Only if you do your own cooking, st-up & serving.

For that kind of money, how about chicken feed (literally, ten pound bag for what 8 bucks), and couple of cans of salmon that her guests can peck and paw around on the ground for.

To go with the canned salmon, maybe you can interest her in the chicken-flavored Ramen noodles. Or better yet, cup-o-soup, which conveniently comes in its own serving container. Just a few money-saving ideas....

Praise the Lord for double bookings.

You can't order takeout for under $15 on this planet. What planet was the woman from - did you ask?

How about a five course sitdown for $35, with a double soup, piece of fish with risotto, VENISON, mache, and a dessert buffet. We asked $45, plus staff of course (only 7)......and got underbid thirty days out. After two (free) tastings, phone calls on vacation, etc. Friend of an old client, so no deposit. Stupid, stupid, stupid.

I sent her the Ruskin quote: "There is scarcely anything in the world that some man cannot make a little worse, and sell a little more cheaply. The person who buys on price alone is this man's lawful prey."