Diary of The Food Whore: Reservations

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Reservations

May 10, 2005

So the wedding is done. And it went off without a hitch.

Wait.

There was a hitch.

Oh, you know. That all sounded better in my head. Anyway - it's done. Thank God.

I was able to round out my lovely weekend by dealing with The Unruly at The Restaurant.

You know, I've talked about this 1000 times - and have bitched just as many - but it just never seems to work itself out... people behave like idiots.

We had numerous reservations for Mother's Day. Two of the largest being 3 groups of 12. The tables were set and we were ready to go. The first two groups had arrived and had been "W&M'd" - Watered and Menued. And then the third group arrived when the hostess came into the kitchen and said there was a problem. The last group of 12 to arrive was actually a group of 20 and was upset because we didn't have enough seats for them.

By the time I got onto the floor the person in charge of the reservation was stomping around the restaurant looking for empty tables. When I approached her, I was greated with snottiness laced with a bit of indignation.

"This is so wrong - you don't have enough places for us to sit."

"Just wait a minute, now. Did you make reservations for 12?"

"Yes."

"Well, that's why we only have 12 place settings for you. When did your number increase?"

"What does that matter? I made the reservation for 12 people but I knew more would come. I just didn't know how many."

"Well we only knew about 12 of you. Which is why we only have room for 12 of you."

"Well what's the big deal? So it's 8 more people. I suggest you find a way to seat us."

I took a minute to compose myself. I didn't want to lose the group. But I also didn't feel like being berated by some self-righteous twit, either.

"Well, we're working on getting more seats added to your table. But it's going to take some creative planning so you will have to bear with us."

"Well we don't want to stand here all night. Can't you just ask those people in that group to move so we can have their table plus the tables against the wall?"

"Well, no. Those people are seated and have already ordered and I am not inclined to impose on them."

"Why not? What's the big deal?"

I walked away. It's hard to convey the tone of her voice and the look on her face. But I know bitches. And this lady was a bitch. And she was one of those women you would like to take out back and slap her silly.

Well - if you're prone to bursts of violence, that is.

So I walked away in search of the best plan to expand their table when I will be damned if she didn't go over to the other table and ask those people to move. Before I had a chance to flail my body across the table at her, she made her case - and guilted those people into moving. She stood there tapping her shoe and She didn't give them any options. So up the people went and over to the other table they filed, water glasses and bread chunks in hand.

Back at the table, Reservation Lady was looking all smug as she commanded The Hostess to bring her party back to her. I went over to The Table of 12 who had just moved and apologized all over myself. But they were unfazed and so kind. And they rolled their eyes when speaking of the rudness of others.

As I walked past Reservation Lady, she had a look of victory on her face.

But what she didn't know was that I was going to step into the kitchen and cook her food.

Posted by Foodwhore at May 10, 2005 10:32 AM

If it makes you feel any better, I've dealt with an idiot over the past few days myself. The world is frickin full of them. Glad you remained professional, as I did, even though you want to tell them to go "F*** themselves. Lord, I apologize.

Posted by: lajhen at May 10, 2005 12:20 PM

Oh god...don't stop now! I want details!

Posted by: Barbara at May 10, 2005 01:19 PM

Please tell me you spit in her food.

Posted by: Amy at May 10, 2005 01:28 PM

Nice. And totally unbelievable.

Posted by: caryn at May 10, 2005 01:42 PM

Wow, some people, I hope she at least tipped well!
I don't know how anyone can deal with the public like that. I would have screamed!!!!

Posted by: Cindy N. at May 10, 2005 02:05 PM

No. No-no-no-no-no-no, she didn't.

What a f***ing cu**. Yeah, you heard me, I used the "c" word.

I always feel really bad for the people that come in with THAT PERSON. Most of them are usually completely embarrassed and disgusted by THAT PERSON's behavior, but they've been beaten into submission by her on other occasions, so they just... you know, sit there.

Gawd, I don't know how you do it. I hope you put, I don't know... piss in her vinaigrette. {Snort, I made a punny}

Posted by: Fatemeh at May 10, 2005 03:29 PM

We have a country store and kitchen and are only open for breakfast on Sundays. We had a Mom's Day catering party that required my presence at noon. We had a call for a table of four for brunch. The girls told the party that the kitchen would close at 11:30 sharp. 11:15 the four people walk in, including the Mom, and say they are now eight. Oh, well! Unlucky! As I closed the door to the catering van at 11:35, the son was getting out of his car. 'You are not really leaving, are you?' 'Like we said on the phone....kitchen closes at 11:30. Own a watch, do you?'

Posted by: Txacoli at May 10, 2005 03:50 PM

I'm prone to acts of violence...can I be your "hit-woman"??? I think it would be fun!!

Posted by: HomefrontSix at May 10, 2005 09:59 PM

I admire your restraint. I would have dragged her out the back and slapped her. Probably why I don't work in the service industry.

Posted by: Mindy at May 10, 2005 10:03 PM

I used to work in the service industry. I too have had many of those CUSTOMERS, and I love hearing *um* reading your stories. They remind me that there are still sane people out there.

Cheers
Dani From Down Under

Posted by: Dani at May 11, 2005 12:42 AM

I wish I had been in the other party she had asked to move.

Because I wouldn't have.

Especially after watching her berate you.

Of course you are talking to someone who worked as an office manager in a tax prep office one year, and hung up on a customer. He was being very beligerent, to the point where if he had been in the office in person I would have been calling mall security to remove him. He did have the grace to call back and apologize though.

Posted by: LibraryGryffon at May 11, 2005 05:26 AM