Diary of The Food Whore: Vacationing Whore

Vacationing Whore - Part 1

May 24, 2005

The state of aviation has been forever changed. I don't know if it's the economy or the price of oil or September 11 that has caused this shift but it's different, that's for sure.

And I am not just talking about all the extra security at airports.

I am talking about food.

Now, I've never been one to brag about airline food. Let's be honest - a pastic tray filled with mystery items it's hardly a lunch at The Four Seasons. (I once comforted myself with an entire box of chocolate covered macadamia nuts while travelling back from Hawaii because the "chicken" put before me was not a recognizable part of the bird.) But the meal portion was just something to break up the monotony of listening to the passenger next to you snore and I actually looked forward to the choices.

But now unless you're one of those people who have the luxury of flying First Class, you don't get bupkus. We flew nearly 6 hours from Seattle to Miami and all we got was a damn cookie. A COOKIE. Well, we got some pretzels, too, because apparently peanuts are just too damn much money.

Ok and while we're on this subject - what's with the serving of salty snacks? Between the air and the altitude most people swell like marshmallows and they try to induce that by forcing sodium laden products down your throat? The lady across the row from me had ankles so swollen it looked like she was wearing leg warmers. But she ate the pretzels - what else was she going to do?

Sheesh.

Anyway - this cookie. I looked at our Flight Attendant and said, "A cookie? Really? There's no smoked salmon spread in that cart, is there? Baked Ziti? A baked brie, perhaps?" Humorless, she sighed and said, "Do you want the cookie, or not?"

I raised my eyebrow and grabbed it out of her hand.

Of course I wanted the damn cookie. We were somewhere over Arkansas and had just survived flying through a major lightning storm which caused whiplash -inducing turbulence. I would have eaten my shoe had I been able to reach it but because the person in front of me insisted on leaning their damn seatback down my throat, the shoe was out of the question.

I knew there was no longer any silverware on board the planes, but would it kill them to serve up a sandwhich?

Posted by Foodwhore at May 24, 2005 02:41 PM

Glad you're back, I look forward to reading about your trip. I'm a (fairly) long-time reader who's both a former catering coordinator and restaurant manager who just revels in your tales. Your 12-top (was it 20?) on Mother's day nearly gave me a rage-induced stroke. At any rate, I finally had to post today just to agree - WHAT IS WITH THE SALTY SNACKS ON AIRPLANES? It truly boggles my mind. I suppose a piece of fruit would be too much to ask...how about an actual human-sized glass of water? Maybe a granola or cereal bar? Grrr.Glad you're back, I look forward to reading about your trip. I'm a (fairly) long-time reader who's both a former catering coordinator and restaurant manager who just revels in your tales. Your 12-top (was it 20?) on Mother's Day nearly gave me a rage-induced stroke. At any rate, I finally had to post today just to agree - WHAT IS WITH THE SALTY SNACKS ON AIRPLANES? It truly boggles my mind. I suppose a piece of fruit would be too much to ask...how about an actual human-sized glass of water? Maybe a granola or cereal bar? Grrr.

Posted by: Jane at May 24, 2005 05:16 PM

Yeahh..... you're back! We missed you!

What airline were you flying? I'm an Alaska Airlines mileage junkie(whore) and they usually have sandwiches on flights that long. Going without anything but salty nastiness completely sucks. I hope you brought good food for the return flight!

Posted by: Jennifer at May 24, 2005 05:25 PM

I am that passenger that the attendants hate, because I will hit the fast food kiosk in the airport and carry on my own food... nothing says "Where's MINE?" like the scent of hot french fries wafting through the cabin.
I once had a guy offer me five dollars for my slightly-squished cheeseburger. Yeah, I took it.

Posted by: LeeAnn at May 24, 2005 05:42 PM

I bring my own food on as well. It makes the flight much easier, if I can have something yummy to much on.

I'm so glad to see you back! I enjoy your blog!

Posted by: Carmen at May 24, 2005 05:52 PM

in Los Angeles there's a whole industry of people who will deliver airline-friendly meals to your home or office the night before your flight. I have a client who routinely takes my food with her on flights, as well, (she even flies better-than-coach most of the time) so I started putting stickers "made with love by ChefJoAnna" that have my phone number on them.... You never know who's going to be sitting next to her!

Posted by: MisChef at May 24, 2005 06:30 PM

A lot of airlines have stopped serving peanuts altogether because so many kids (and adults, I guess) are so allergic to them. People were having severe reactions to 'peanut dust' floating around the cabin.

Posted by: Emilie at May 24, 2005 07:08 PM

Personally, I'm glad they got rid of the food. It's nasty - and I'm nowhere near the level of Food Whore. We've always taken our own anyway. It's impossible to get kids to eat the crap that the airlines serve. They just grab the cheap toy and forget about the meal.

Posted by: Barb at May 25, 2005 03:53 AM

When I fly, I usually take Midwest Airlines. They used to be famous for their food, but they're going broke. Now you can have the pretzels (small, durable, easy to store, probably cheap) and even the onboard baked chocolate chip cookies. And if you want, you can BUY food, usually a sandwich, chips and fruit. I don't mind and I think it's a good alternative for folks who want more than the little snack. The seats are comfy and the service is great. That's more important to me.

Posted by: Annie at May 25, 2005 06:58 AM

It used to be such a service driven industry. I remember growing up we used to fly for our trips to disneyland. I used to have to get dressed up to get on a plane. And that was just an hour hop from San Francisco to LA. Much like rail travel used to be it was all about service. Seems like a lot of that is going out the window. Are we simply supposed to be happy that we get there on time now? These days I just arrive a little early, order my Jack and water, yes I'll take the double for 2 dollars more thank you, and find someone cool to talk to until I have to go line up for the cattle call, er, boarding. Welcome back whore, have a good weekend all, I get four days myself now woo hoo!

Posted by: Paul at May 25, 2005 07:16 AM

Here is a comprehensive and weird site, totally devoted to airline food:

http://www.airlinemeals.net

Flying to Hawaii on Hawaiian, I forgot to order a veg meal and ended up with a turkey sandwich on a roll. Picked off the turkey, ate the roll. Whatever.

On the way home I remembered to call ahead and get the veg meal. With much fanfare they deliver my special meal ahead of everyone else's food.

A small, damp, pink disk of unknown material. It tasted like wet newspaper. It was, hands down, the worst meal I have ever had, anywhere, and that includes Grandma Bushnell's half-inch thick egg noodle dough blobs.

Posted by: Suebob at May 25, 2005 07:10 PM