I once broke up with someone partly because of his restaurant behavior.

First, he never, ever was happy with the first table he was seated at. He would sit down, unfold the napkin, play with the silverware, sip the water....THEN decide it was too close to the door/the kitchen/a busy aisle/a hot window/a breeze and demand to be moved.

Then there was the matter of the specials. The server would rattle off the specials and he would begin the quiz. What was the second one, again? Oh, I forgot - what was the third one? The first one?

Could he get the sauce from special 3 on special 1? Or how about special 2 with the side from special 3? But on second thought, he would really rather order off the menu.

And you may be able to guess by now, but he wasn't ever happy with the food. The epitome of that was when he wanted to send enchiladas back...because they were covered in icky enchilada sauce. What a surprise!

It was just too horrifying and embarrassing. I couldn't take it anymore.

Yes, Keith, I'm talking about you.

I'll admit to being a picky eater. But when eating out, I do my best to not ask for substitutes and try to find something on the menu that I feel I can eat.

But it's sure a lot easier when there's a bit of variety in the menu. I've been to a couple of resturants where it seems every dish on the menu has blue cheese in it. Which pleases my spouse very much, but leaves me wondering what in the hell to order, and cringing when I have to ask the waiter to please have them leave the blue cheese off my dish.

No mincing of words here...I like that. I don't like picky eaters either. When my kids were little I would fix all the veggies...asparagus, brussel sprouts, parsnips, peppers, mushrooms, beets,...things that mothers don't normally fix for children. Before long they acquired a taste for all vegetables and different kinds of food and now they love my cooking. They aren't afraid to try new things. I had the no nonsense mom too...just eat whats in front of you! (Think about all the starving children in the world scenario).

The last Chef I worked for before going on my own was Lawrence at The Green Parrot Cafe in Southern California. The place is lovely, and has a pass window that faces the dining room and patio. Well the vet servers knew better than to ask, but when a new server would come into the kitchen during a busy lunch and say "hey Chef? I have a guest who would like to know if...." Then Lawrence in his LOUD booming voice (certainly within earshot of said offender) would reply "WHY DON'T YOU BRING THEM SOME PAPER AND YOUR PEN THERE AND HAVE THEM WRITE THIER OWN G.D. MENU!" Sure the request was usually met, allowing the guest to take his crayloa crayon and scribble all over our beautiful oil painting on canvas, but I'm sure if anyone else was considering changes they had second thoughts.

Being allergic to wheat, I usually order something else, and I do eat a lot of salads. But with the rise in those who can't eat wheat (current estimates are one in a hundred Americans), could I beg of restaurants to have even ONE wheat free entree on a four page, forty item menu? (And not just the lobster or scallops, since there are lots of us who can't eat those either.) Or even just a few wheat free entrees or pasta free soups? I've been places where absolutely everything turns out to be breaded or on pasta, and if you ask for rice instead of pasta, you find orzo in the rice. I've been places where even the chicken in the salad has been breaded. I really do want to be able to order something straight from the menu, and not make everyone's life difficult, so there are a lot of restaurants I just don't go to anymore.