Diary of The Food Whore: Whoreing Up Some Business

Whoreing Up Some Business

May 10, 2005

So the phone rings.

"Hello?"

"Hi there, my name is Jeffrey and I am calling from ABC Event Catering."

They would be one of our competitors. They just bought a new facility to the tune of $2.5 Million Dollars and they have been pushing their business all over the planet to keep it up and running.

"Yes?"

"I am calling to introduce our services to you. We are the premier catering and special event company in the area with a reputation that everyone is talking about on the streets.

We would love to sit down with you to introduce ourselves and possibly schedule your next employee event!"

I thought to myself, "They're talking about you, all right. But it's not about singing your praises..."

"Where did you get my phone number?"

"Oh, ma'am. It's off a very carefully selected list."

"Hm. Well, does it list my name?"

"No, ma'am. Just that you're a business."

"Well, see, no. I don't think we will be needing your services any time soon."

"Oh, but ma'am. Our reputation preceeds us."

"Oh yes I know. Your reputation brings us a lot of business."

"Excuse me? How do you mean?"

"You've reached the XYZ Catering Company."

Click.

I know it was low.

But I could not resist.

At least I didn't tell them the part about the last 3 venues we tricked at jacking up the price of the cleaning deposit because of the horrendous mess they left behind. And the burned food. And everything else that "preceeds" them.

I mean, I can't be that much of a bitch all of the time.

It's just too damn exhausting.

Posted by Foodwhore at May 10, 2005 02:57 PM

I hope they paid a lot for the "list of business owners" Might be nice to spriong for the names of the business...DUH

Thanks for your Blog. I LMAO quite often

Posted by: Zin at May 10, 2005 04:05 PM

All I can say is that he picked the wrong day to call you after what you went through with the Reservation Lady. Priceless. And hilarious. Wonder who will be the poor soul that I take my aggression out on.

Posted by: lajhen at May 10, 2005 06:05 PM

Reminds me of the call I got this spring from an Army recruiter.

I started laughing and couldn't stop and I could feel him seething on the other end. Finally I was able to catch my breath and when he asked "What's so funny?" I just started laughing all over again.

Yeah, my husband, the Marine, would just love to join the army!

Posted by: veg4me at May 10, 2005 08:48 PM

LOL that's very witty

Posted by: a girl running at May 10, 2005 11:50 PM

Just a quick lil' request:

Please please please, fine-tune your right-click handler to pop-up the copyright notice only when it's on an image; it currently makes it impossible to right-click on a LINK to open in a new window.

(And, well, anyone that really wants to steal your images can anyway, but I'm sure you know that, and just want to keep the lazy from doing it.)

Posted by: Sigivald at May 11, 2005 04:00 PM