Diary of The Food Whore: Teeter Totter

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Teeter Totter

July 06, 2005

One of the things I do love about Tricking is the people watching. I love to do that anywhere, actually. But Tricks are a much more personal way of observing human nature.

And what I love about people watching at Wedding Tricks are the Single Girls Looking to Hook Up species. They create lots of fodder for the kitchen staff.

There's always that group - you know them. They dress to try and outdo the bride. There's always cleavage and good hair. And they smile big and laugh loud and even have a cocktail or two while trying to garner the attentions of any single groomsmen. Or they go for the guys who will most likely try and avoid the tradition of catching the garter should it be tossed. Their entire goal is The Hook-Up. (The Friend in Texas will appreciate the memories from those times...)

Anyway.

If there is one piece of advice I could give Single Girls Looking to Hook Up it would be to wear sensible shoes. Now, I get that every woman wants a sexy shoe. Despite my new foud love in Crocs, I, too, like a sexy shoe. But a shoe ain't sexy if you fall on your face in front of the bar or if you can't hold your own on the dance floor.

And the thing is - unless you can take a long, stable stride in a shoe, it's not the shoe for you. And if you can't take a long, stable stride, watch yourself in the food line.

One of my staff was stocking the breads when one of the Single Girls Looking to Hook Up came through the line with her plate and dressed in a pretty Jimmy Choo looking heel. And the floor was a little slick and Single Girls Looking to Hook Up had a glass of wine in her hand and the next thing you knew she had teetered into the back of my employee.

Fortunately no one was hurt and fortunately for Single Girls Looking to Hook Up the food line wasn't too big and visual proof of the incident was minimal.

But we saw it.

And we mocked the Hell out of it.

Posted by Foodwhore at July 6, 2005 01:28 PM

As a guy who played in a wedding band occasionally during my late teens, I can confirm your 'Single Girls Looking to Hook Up' hypothesis.

Hadn't noticed the shoe bit, but it makes sense...

Posted by: the pragmatic chef™ at July 6, 2005 04:34 PM

I love reading your blog, partly for wedding tricks (as I am a wedding photographer) but mainly for your sharp sense of humor.

Have to share this:

Just last month I was seated and eating dinner at a friend's wedding I had worked eight hours shooting.

Obnoxious woman says to the table, as she is putting a forkful of food into her mouth, "Just so you know, I got food poisoning last time I ate here. But I got laid that night, so it's all good. I went home with one of the groomsmen."

Classic.

Posted by: Annex at July 7, 2005 12:02 AM

I love to go to weddings and watch the Single Girls Looking to Hook Up. You wouldn't believe the stupid things they will do for attention. Wait I forgot who I was talking too. You, me, and my girls (they love to people watch) sitting at a wedding or mall people watching the stories we would come out with!!!

Posted by: Gail at July 7, 2005 06:27 AM

When I was 26, I was one of those "single girls looking to hook-up" at a wedding I wasn't invited to. I succeeded. Good times. lol

Posted by: TX friend at July 7, 2005 06:28 AM

Posted by: Gail at July 7, 2005 06:28 AM