Damn.

I know the feeling - I was brave enought to buy a white suit this summer - what *was* I thinking. The very first time I wore it (on a rainy day, again not my most brilliant move) I fell flat on my face in the mud. Most food shows up on what my daughter used to call my "pillows" - aka bosom.

I have *never* been able to wear white - every piece of white clothing I've ever owned gets dingy when I so much as look at it. I'm so impressed you lasted as long as you did!

It might be easier if you didn't understand the menu. Maybe, next time as you read the menu, let it flow in and out like a summer breeze.
Or ditch the white stuff cause you know better and never acknowledge anyone you know. And throw it at them before they get within 3 feet and remark, "better you than me pally boy".

Biggles

It’s all in the way you look at it!

In my eyes that does not constitute a drip…it’s a drag…and if it doesn’t land on your breast area having fallen from your mouth and or eating utensil ….you passed!!!!

I am ever so lucky in that if I don white, I look like a corpse. So, after I graduated from culinary school, and ditched the chef's whites, I have not willingly worn white again.

Hence, I wear black to all public functions, my chef's jackets are black (or denim) and that is that.

But I agree with Gail--you didn't leave a flaming red trail of good down your bosom, so you win the prize.

You know what I call my boobs when I am eating? My crumb shelf. Because, if I am lucky while eating, that is the only thing that collects there.

Ah. The joys of being well-endowed.

Snort.

Right.

The Food found me during my stint as an R&D baker for The Well-Bred Loaf and it's been stalking me ever since. If there's FOOD anywhere - it finds my shirt. If I'm eating, someone else is eating, something is being prepared - anywhere, somehow it finds me and jumps on my shirt. I thought I was the only one. You have my sympathies.

I just want you to know that I got NOTHING done at work for the last two days because I've been reading your blog archives from the beginning.

You know that feeling when you have a great book and while you're excited to start a new chapter (or month, in this case) you're also a little sad because it's bringing you closer to the end of the book? That's how I've been feeling. I'm so glad I can come back again and again and get new bits.

Thanks for the fun writing, great stories, and fabulous point of view!

Thank you for the wonderful complements, K. Britt. And thank you for reading.

For the rest of you - let's invent an invisible bib for adults, shall we?

Ditto K. Britt! I almost exploded at work the other day while reading the archives. I was trying so hard not to laugh out loud!

Love your show, FW!

Its the inversity of inanimate objects that causes food to attack your clothes. Inanimate things fully understand your situation and attack at the most inopportune times. I am an expert. I had just gotten a new job and the president of the company took my wife and I to one of the big Oil Clubs in Denver for dinner. I needed to use my napkin. I didn't notice that as I grabbed it I got my tie in front. Naturally, I wiped my mouth with my tie and got a bit greasy spot on it. Didn't get anything on the napkin!

Too funny! I can totally relate.

I think wearing white for me is a beacon for being invited for Vietnamese and therefore, rice noodle bowls. Nuoc cham sauce is generally a clearish substance, but the ten tons of hoisin sauce I add to the picture is absolutely not. I'm sure the people sitting next to me might get it too.

I once went to conduct an interview for an article I was writing...the interview didn't go well, no rapport, or something...

I got home, looked in the mirror and discovered long thick dried streams of chocolate ice cream all over the front of my sweater.

I really had to wonder about myself.