|
 Cooks rule.
Guacamole
I am doing this for the kind lady who e-mailed me concerned that my guacamole might look like hummus... Collard Greens - Food Whore Style Collard Greens "Ragu" Not A Casserole I repeat, this is NOT a casserole. Texas Caviar For The Friend in Virginia, or was that Ohio? Lemon Drop Martini My Drink of Choice 
New York Social Diary
Ina Garten Martha, Martha, Martha Nigella Jamie Oliver Benjamin Christie Very Good Cooking Veg-A-Leo DaMomma Life Happens She Lives In Hawaii And I Am Bitter (That's my line, not the name of the blog) The Mother of Presidents Homefront Six Fantabulous Designer - Echo Accidental Hedonist Culinary Epiphanies Dr. Alice This Fish Needs A Bicycle Vinography Chocolate & Zucchini Knife's Edge Becks & Posh Pro Bono Baker Plate Of The Day Chef JoAnna Sweet & Savory Super Chef Blog Gastronomie-SF 
Issues
0 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 
Christmas (2)
Costco (6) Days Like These (1) Deli Girl (2) Drinks (1) E-Mail (4) Etc. (7) Fabulousness (9) Food (34) Holidays (2) Holidays (1) Home (3) In Sickness & In Health (1) Just My Luck (6) Klutziness (19) People (21) Quest for Knowledge (2) Quirks (4) Relief (1) Summer (1) Thanksgiving (8) The Blog (3) The Car (1) The Competition (2) The Family (11) The Grocery Store (14) The Husband (1) The Restaurant (17) The World (2) Time Off (1) Tricks (85) Vacation (7) Whore Wear (1) Winter Storm Watch 2005!! (1) 
March 2006
February 2006 January 2006 December 2005 November 2005 October 2005 September 2005 August 2005 July 2005 June 2005 May 2005 April 2005 March 2005 February 2005 January 2005 December 2004 November 2004 October 2004 September 2004 August 2004 July 2004 June 2004 May 2004 April 2004 March 2004 
|
« A Bowl Full of Cherries. | Main | It Must Be The Heat » Good Manners, On The Side
August 05, 2005
My young cousin was recently visiting for the weekend and we got to talking about boys and friends and all the teenage angst that comes with being a beautiful girl of 16.
Anyway. So she asked me if people get better as they get older. And I thought about lying and telling her that when people celebrate their 18th birthday they go in this Magic Closet and come out all fabulous and nice. Instead I was painfully honest. "You know how I like to say the words, 'I hate people', right?" "Yeah." "Well, I'm not just throwing that out there for shits and giggles. There's a method to my madness. The fact of the matter is, maybe 2 of those girls will grow up and really 'get it'. And the rest of them, sadly, will stay the petty bitches they are, and they will actually get worse as they get older."
"Yes. Well. That and they do stupid things in my restaurant."
We were slamming busy. People were waiting outside just to get inside. So the kitchen missed it. And we hate when we miss things. And had she ordered the salad without tomatoes and avocados due to some serious allergy, I would have felt really bad. But the thing is, she wanted the tomatoes and avocados, but she wanted them on a separate plate. So I got called to her table and she was furious. Which, is just so thrilling. "I ordered this salad with the tomatoes and avocados on the side. And here they are next to the shrimp." "I am sorry. Clearly there was a mixed signal in the kitchen." I am thinking to myself, "Just take the damn things off, yourself." But I did refrain from saying that out loud. "Take this back to the kitchen and have your staff remove them and put them on a separate plate." Not a please or a thank you in the sentence, anywhere. "I want you to be happy, but I have to be honest. You see how busy we are, the kitchen is just slammed. Would it be OK if I just brought you a small dish so you could remove them, yourself?" "Why would I pay for a salad I have to make myself? Do I look like I work in a kitchen?" HOW AND WHY do these people find us? Is there some sort of flashing sign on the freeway that says, "Bitchy? Stupid? Demanding as Hell? Then We Are The Place For You!!" Or is there a tour guide somewhere saying, "There's a place just down the road with a self-loathing staff. They actually want you to treat them like indentured servants!! Oh, and have the clam chowder. It's out of this world!" Her husband was embarrassed. I was actually speechless. "The salad is fine." He said in a stern voice. "A small plate would be fabulous. The food looks wonderful. Thank you, so much."
And while I generally don't condone physical violence, I do secretly hope that somewhere in that man's closet he has one of these:
Posted by Foodwhore at August 5, 2005 10:20 PM 
Some people just believe that they are Better Than The Rest of the World. That's all there is to it. If only there really was a Magic Closet somewhere. Posted by: Alida at August 5, 2005 11:25 PM when I was in highschool I was too depressed to be homicidal. just wanted to do away with myself. but not anymore. my older cousin told me over and over that the popular people in HS just floundered about after they had had their heyday. (it did make me feel better and it proved to be true.) I think that before anyone eats in a restaurant they need to watch the part of "Mostly Martha" where she (The Chef) goes to the dining room to yell at the customers. your humour is infectuous. thank you for writing! Posted by: shuna at August 6, 2005 12:06 AM We actually send them all to you. After they visit us we tell them, "Oh, if you enjoyed being an ass at OUR place you can't miss this other restaurant." I can see you return the favor as well. Thank you. Posted by: haddock at August 6, 2005 12:30 AM "Do I look like I work in a kitchen?" I'd have thrown her out right there. In front of her kids. I'd just say "Please leave" until she did. With my best Sicilian evil-eye: "Please leave. Please leave. Please leave. Please leave. Please leave. Now. NOW!" At least I'd have said please. And thank you. We don't deserve to be treated like shit. We choose this career. We enjoy it most of the time... but then you get someone like that who shits all over you and sometimes you just gotta get rid of the asshole who makes the shit. Posted by: Chef-girl-ar-dee at August 6, 2005 01:21 AM My wife says that this sounds like our 4-year-old: "My food is touching! I don't want my food to touch! It's icky!" You can maybe take some comfort that they don't only target you, but the tour guides send them our way, too. Maybe we should start a chain: "We're here for your abuse!" We'd make a mint. Posted by: Yogi at August 6, 2005 05:37 AM Some people just have no clue how to treat other people like human beings. They are so selfish and self-centered, that they just cannot act like anything other than asses in public. At least the husband had the grace to be embarrassed and attempted to rein the twit in a little. Geez. Folks like that just make me want to scream full volume in their ears. Among other things. Posted by: Barbara at August 6, 2005 10:56 PM i'd probably want to bitch-slap her(!) but unfortunately the customers are always right... Posted by: Lil at August 7, 2005 03:09 AM I wish you could take secret digital pictures of these nasty biatches, so if we see them we can aviod them. Or kick them in the head. Posted by: Dumbunny at August 7, 2005 01:21 PM Dear Blogger, We at PimpHats.com have found that you have posted one of our links on the website. Although we are thankful for you using our image and giving us free advertisement, we wanted to advise you to join our affiliates program first. With the affiliates program you can earn 10% from all purchases linked from your site, and you are allowed you use any of our images or banners. All images must be linking to our site for you to use them. Posted by: Eugene Kovshilovsky at August 8, 2005 01:36 PM I'd bitch-slap her too. As for Eugene...DUDE! You're getting FREE ADVERTISING!!! Don't look a gift-whore in the mouth. Posted by: HomefrontSix at August 8, 2005 03:17 PM Well, it's time for a new pimp hat, then. Posted by: The Food Whore at August 8, 2005 07:29 PM She sounds like my sister. Sorry you had to deal with that. Posted by: Carmen at August 9, 2005 05:33 PM Free is good but getting paid to put a link to the site is better for everyone. We can track the traffic, you can earn money. A PIMP gotsta defend his turf! Posted by: Eugene Kovshilovsky at August 9, 2005 05:51 PM  |
