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On this, the last official weekend of summer, The Husband and I have been taking advantage of some rare down time together. There are no Tricks, no business meetings, no deadlines to meet - not an obligation in site.

A weekend off.

We made a "To Do" list of things we needed to get done around the house and we got up yesterday morning with renewed vigor to get them all done.

As of right now, however, the list has a big hole burned through from The Husbands weekly cigar.

We opted, instead, to take a morning stroll. So while The Husband was out getting the paper I made up a couple of breakfast wraps, and we made our way to our destination making a detour through Starbucks along the way.

We found a perfect bench along the waterfront where we could sit and take in the sights of the bay. We watched cargo ships go by and we played a little game of "What's Inside?". The Husband dreaming of an entire ship of plasma screens, and I dreaming of an entire ship full of shoes. And maybe one container full of Greek olives.

It was all very romantic, almost Hallmark-esque, holding hands and watching the waves roll in and...

...and then some dipshit in a blue jogging suit stopped about 10 feet from us and did that thing where some men blow their nose into thin air. You know, they lean over and press one side of their nostril and blow and then repeat on the other side?

Well, Mr. Dipshit apparently had a sinus cavity full and decided our little bench of perfectness was the best place to let it all fly.

Totally.

Disgusting.

I was mid coffee sip, and I sputtered and gagged. "Oh come on", I moaned. The Husband grabbed my hand and muttered, "Oh, God." And then Mr. Dipshit's wife came jogging up and shouted, "JEFF!" and she smacked him on the back of the head. "There are people sitting right behind you and you just grossed them out. And you KNOW I hate it when you do that. Knock it off!".

Mr. Dipshit Jeff turned to us and shrugged. "Sorry." His wife came over and apologized to me. "I am so sorry. SO sorry. This is completely embarassing for me."

"Oh, please don't worry. I will get over it once the gagging stops."

"Can you believe men sometimes?, She asked. And then she looked over at The Husband and said, "I hope to God you don't do such disgusting things."

"Oh no. No.", he replied. "I learned pretty early on that gross man habbits have no place in our home. It's just better for our home - the world, really - if I try and keep that stuff on the down low."

She laughed and looked to me, "Again. I am sorry."

"Oh, please don't worry. I am just glad you caught me on a good day. Any other day and I may have lunged and been forced to lodge my shoe in his man parts."

"Yeah, well. Jeff might wish that would have happened because that would have been the last piece of action those Man Parts will see for a very, very long time. Idiot."

Mr. Dipshit Jeff and The Husband looked at one another and laughed. "Women", they said in unison.

Bastards.

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