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Costco
November 22, 2005

So I was doing some paperwork when The Sister called.

"Hey" I had a really cool offer to take part in a phone-in radio show this afternoon with other food bloggers.

The topic? Thanksgiving.

Due to my schedule, however, I regretfully had to decline. I was bummed, too. How cool would it have been for me to be able to be on the radio?

And then I got to thinking - how cool would it have been, really? As fond as I am of speaking - and I am fond of it - I am not always so fond about the public speaking. True, I would still have the anonimity of the phone lines, but I sort of view public speaking like I do karaoke at a funky bar in Chinatown - in theory, it's really good. But after the first nerve-induced song you warble, you start getting really cocky with the Sheena Easton songs until someone (The Husband) has to give you the look that says perhaps it's time to let someone else have a turn. And if the look doesn't work, they ply you with liquor to simply get you off the microphone and save the patrons of the bar from having to hear you belt out another Celine Dion melody.
I mean, would I have made a fool of myself? Would I have accidentally burped? Would I have gotten into a verbal death match with another blogger over the use of marshmallows on sweet potatoes? Would I have accindentally cursed? Or would I so completely lost my head that I would have fallen into this repulsive trance and become the Howard Stern of Food Radio? "That's it, baby. Give those Yams a shake.."
I guess it's for the best I couldn't do it.

Though I do hope I get asked again.

So the other night at The Meeting Of The General Turkey Synod, the final menu for The Most Adored Food Holiday On The Land was discussed, and agreed upon.
But only after much discussion of what was going inside the turkey this year (lemon/garlic/onion/herbs), and coming to the conclusion that Grey's Anatomy is quite possibly the best show on television.

So anyway, here it is. It's actually paired down from what we originally thought we needed.

Turkey (Turkey-s Plural. We need two of those bad boys)
Spicy/sweet glazed ham
Mashed Potatoes
Sweet Potatoes caramelized in brown sugar and butter. Not a 'schmallow in site.
Sweet Corn
Cauliflower Gratin
Brussle Sprouts Sauteed with Bacon and Apples
Sausage and Pecan Stuffing
Gravy, of course.
Grandma A's Funky Green Jello
Shrimp Salad
Waldorf Salad
Cous Cous Salad
Fresh Cranberries Chutney
Deviled Eggs and And Assortment of Pickled Things
Corn Bread
Fresh Yeast Rolls
Fresh Bran Rolls
And butter - lots and lots of butter.
The Dessert/Snack portion taking place later in the day:
Pumpkin Pie
Chocolate Cream Pie
Coconut Cream Pie
Sweet Potato Tart w/ Praline Crust
Hummus
Chilled Vegetarian Dolmades
Baked Brie w/ Honey, Dates and Walnuts
Leftover turkey & Ham on Buns
Fresh Snack Mix
Assorted homemade candies and treats.

Beverages:
Fresh Apple Cider
Hot Buttered Rum
Hot Mulled Cider with a "Kick" (Peach Schnaps)
Wine
Water
Coffee
And possibly Mylanta...
So that's where it stands as of right now. We've got some inactive reserve dishes in the wings in case we feel the need to supplement.
Let the games begin.

"Hey, what's up?"
"Oh, you know. What are you doing?"
"Taxes."
"Oy. Sorry for you."
"Yeah, thanks."
"So how are you doing on your end with the menu?"
"Which menu?"
"Um. Hello. Thursday's menu. Thanks-freaking-giving."
"Tense, much? What's the problem?"
"Just too many irons in the fire."
"I hear that."
"I have a huge favor to ask."
"Name it."
"Well, I thought I had enough corn in the freezer from what I put up in September."
"So you don't?"
"No. I gave so much away that I don't have enough left for Thanksgiving."
"So you want me to bring corn?"
"Um. Not exactly."
"Uh. You want me to quick grow some corn?"
"Um... no..."
"So you're just calling to tell me you don't have enough corn?"
"Well, not exactly. I was curious if you would ride with me..."
"Ride with you where - Kansas?"
"Costco."

I sat silent for a minute. I love The Sister. And she is gracious enough to open her home to our family at Thanksgiving - all 30 of us radical folk. But...

"Costco."
"Um, yeah."
"You're asking me to go to Costco."
"Uh huh."
"You're asking me to go to Costco the day before the day before Thanksgiving."
"Right."
"Costco."
"You're so pretty."
"*Sigh* Fine."
"I love you."
"Whatever."

Damn.

Posted by Foodwhore at November 22, 2005 04:15 PM

while you are there, you should pick up the dump truck sized value pack of toilet paper! just think, one thing you will never have to buy again... for the rest of your life!

who needs that much toilet paper in one trip anyway?!?!

Posted by: Darryl m at November 22, 2005 07:53 PM

Here is your challenge if you choose to accept it.

Leave Costco with nothing but the corn.

I bet you can't do it.

Posted by: veg4me at November 22, 2005 08:34 PM

Nothing but the corn and your sanity maybe. It could be tough.

Posted by: Mindy at November 22, 2005 09:49 PM

You have my sympathies.

Posted by: Barb at November 23, 2005 04:14 AM

Oh.. She so owes you.

Posted by: Sie at November 23, 2005 04:31 AM

Oh.. She so owes you.

Posted by: Sie at November 23, 2005 04:31 AM

The things we do for our sisters!
Look at it as an adventure - the people watching will be fabulous...

Posted by: rhonda at November 23, 2005 04:54 AM

Went yesterday, got there at opening time - you should rethink this. There were tons of fools there since 2 am waiting for an XBOX something or other. Every lane opened and packed. Upside: they didn't bother putting out the snack patrol!

Posted by: meginAB at November 23, 2005 05:51 AM

Having never experienced pre-holiday Costco I can't speak with authority but I don't get how you have such bad luck with Costco shopping. Every time I've been it's always been a pleasant experience until the end. It's just waiting in line that sucks. But when doesn't waiting in line suck?

However, I do sympathize that a sibling has put you in a inescapible position. Siblings are so good at doing that. ;-)

Posted by: Nerissa at November 23, 2005 06:09 AM

You should make sure she gets plenty of Lemon Drop Supplies for you! That way you can relax!

Posted by: Duane at November 23, 2005 08:09 AM

How rude! Don't go. Kansas would be a much better trip!

Posted by: scott at November 23, 2005 12:50 PM

I would rather scoop out my eyeballs with grapefruit spoons and replace them with mashed habanero.

Posted by: MisChef at November 23, 2005 02:04 PM

I'd opt for serving carrots.....

Posted by: frances schleien at November 23, 2005 03:24 PM

"You're so pretty." "I love you." HA! I think your sister and mine took the same Manipulation 101 course. My sympathies... but man, I can't wait to read what you have to say about the experience!

Posted by: Peggy at November 23, 2005 03:28 PM

You're so EASY!!! All it took was a compliment?! Damn you are EASY...hehe

Posted by: HomefrontSix at November 23, 2005 04:22 PM

here's a quote you might remember...


"Costco = Lots of People.


Lots of people = Hell.

Theretoforever (It's a word, well, in my world)

Theretoforever Costco = Hell."


Have FUN!!!

Posted by: HomefrontSix at November 23, 2005 04:24 PM

 
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