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The Virus Is Spreading
November 13, 2005

Today marked the first day of a much-needed two week sabbatical from the Tricking World. As we do every year, we've scheduled ourselves out until after The Most Adored Food Holiday In All The Land as to have a reprieve until the December rush slaps us upside the face like a twinkie sneaking kid at Fat Camp.
The Husband knows this time of year as The Time When The Wife Has Enough Free Time To Paint Things And Rearrange Furniture And Create General Mayhem in The Home.

Anyway.

So we travelled out of town to visit friends, and upon our arrival in said town we stopped by a grocery store to pick up some egg nog.
It was a nice store - gorgeous produce section. It all seemed fairly normal.

Well, as normal as a grocery store can be.

So we've got the 'Nog and a few other items and we're being cashiered by Wacky Wilma in line 4.
A nice gentleman was behind us chatting up the weather with The Husband when Wacky Wilma moaned, "Ohhh, egg nog. Tell me, what does it taste like without liquor."
"Well...", I started to say.
"Oh God is it good? I mean, is it sweet and thick like I remember? I..."
And she broke for a minute to grab a tissue and blow her nose.
And then started with the moaning.

"I loooove egg nog. Egg nog with lots of whiskey... or rum. Oh dark rum is sooo good. But I can't have it now. Any of it. I can't even have egg not without liquor. It's too much temptation. I don't do well with liquor. I get into all sorts of trouble. But oh how I would love to just smell it - smell it's creamy goodness. I love the smell of egg nog with rum."
And she sat there, staring at my carton. Just - staring. And I'll be damned if a little tear didn't form in the corner of her eye.
And more standing...and more staring...
I looked back at The Husband who was exchanging looks with the man behind him. They both looked back at me and we all shared the same thought, "What in the Hell do we say to her?"
The nice courtesy clerk putting my groceries in the bag cleared his throat to get her attention and took the carton of nog from her hands.
She dabbed the tissue to her eyes and announced my total due.
It's not just happening in my grocery store, people.

Forget the bird flue.

The Crazy Virus is spreading fast.

Posted by Foodwhore at November 13, 2005 11:58 PM

LMAO!!! Oh MAN!

Posted by: Lindsey at November 14, 2005 02:26 AM

You are SO insensative! Clearly she wanted you to open it and offer her a slug right there and then, right from the carton (gag).

Yogi

Posted by: Yogi at November 14, 2005 03:53 AM

Well that certainly is crazier by leaps and bounds more than the cashier I have who keeps asking if I am sure I want to pay X amount of dollars for my fruit almost every time I go to her till.

Posted by: Nerissa at November 14, 2005 06:29 AM

I suspect she was imagining something like this, only no one can imagine how good this stuff is. You have to try it.

http://seriouslygood.kdweeks.com/2003/11/eggnog.html

Posted by: kevin at November 14, 2005 06:30 AM

I believe, when vacationing, you shouldn't go to Crazyville.

Posted by: Jack at November 14, 2005 07:47 AM

LMAO! Poor woman, I wonder if she was pregnant? If so, I feel her pain. I'll have to forgo this year myself. Going through the holiday season without eggnog and liquor IS enough to make you tear up!

Posted by: Kim at November 14, 2005 04:40 PM

Dang! Your Idiot Magnet is working overtime!!

Posted by: Barb at November 15, 2005 02:01 AM

They are everywhere!

You can run, but you can't hide. I work at a grocery store, and there are as many crazy customers as employees there. I am among the crazies from time to time!

Posted by: farmgroupie at November 15, 2005 04:53 AM

The grocery line is one of the last communal places we have these days. It's the most intimate contact I get with strangers all week. The people that talk to you there may be lonely.

Posted by: Stephen at November 15, 2005 11:55 AM
 
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