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Bridezilla
December 13, 2005

And here we go again...

Ok. It's a special day.

Ok. It's one of the most important days in your life.

Ok. You want the night to be magical.

Ok. You deserve to be special for the day.

Not Ok. Your incessant whining.

Not Ok. Your insistence upon calling me at home so you can bounce ideas off me at 11:00 at night.
Not Ok. The way you speak to your mother like she's an insignificant speck. She's footing the bill. And she's too gracious to give you a smack-down in front of people.

Not Ok. The incessent whining. Honestly, it's so annoying.

Not Ok. The way you interrupted me when you ran into me while I was out Christmas shopping with a friend.

Not Ok. Insisting to me that your mother doesn't know anything when she says that 350 will be attending the wedding. You say you invited 400 people and every single person will show up because they are so excited to see you get married. I've got news for you - you're dreaming.

Not Ok. Adding an entire course to the menu because you are certain people need more choice than the 14 things already offered.

Not Ok. Your incessant whining.


Seriously, I mean it this time.

Posted by Foodwhore at December 13, 2005 11:04 AM

see you cook for them.
the worst
absolutely the worst.

I only sew for these stupid little girls who think they are mature enough to get married.
Actually most of them ARE mature until they start planning the wedding and then they are four year olds playing at the wedding like with Barbies.

CONFESSION TIME: Especially irritating brides I have sewn invisible plastic threads into your dresses so that they will itch you the whole day. I smile while I watch you adjusting and scratching at the altar. poor baby.

Now you confess....email me if you can't do it here.

Posted by: speckledpup at December 13, 2005 11:59 AM

Yeah yeah, but what'd you do to her? How'd you get her back? Or will the story unfold in the coming days?

Posted by: Dr. Biggles at December 13, 2005 02:01 PM

you would love me- we eloped!!! Still not sorry for the most part- oh, occasionally I get the miniscule twinge of regret, but overall, I still feel profound relief to this day, 5 years and 4 days later.

Posted by: tonja at December 13, 2005 03:05 PM

Sounds like her Sweet Sixteen party instead of a wedding and financed by parents with more money than brains.

My husband and I got married during the lunch hour at the courthouse...he's a lawyer and I'm a former court reporter. Saved a lot of trouble from every direction.

Posted by: sandy at December 13, 2005 07:11 PM

We had a courthouse wedding with a church "confirmation of vows" four months later. The episcopalian priest who performed the ceremony admitted that he preferred confirmations to weddings since people could focus on the ceremony and the party since they had already been through the whole "marriage" part of it already. Much less stress for all involved, including him.

Posted by: LibraryGryffon at December 14, 2005 05:17 AM

Thankfully, I won't be a bridezilla- It's scary to think one day turns women into such creates- Me and my Fiancee are making ours a destination wedding, and just letting the resort coordinator in Costa Rica take care of the majority of it for us-

Posted by: Monkey at December 14, 2005 07:22 AM

We got married in Las Vegas with Elvis there! That was just fine.

Posted by: Dr. Biggles at December 14, 2005 09:30 AM

I guess thats why wedding catering is so expensive. :-)

HAve you ever seen the show "Bridezillas"?

Posted by: Valerie at December 14, 2005 12:20 PM

OMG... after 5 days, I have finally read your entire blog! I want to know when the book is coming out!! Thank you so much for making me laugh, for making me thank my stars that I am no longer a bridezilla (dumped the groom), and for teaching me a couple REALLY cool recipes! I'm going to have to try that baked Brie.

Posted by: Lynn at December 14, 2005 03:21 PM

Ahhhhh....so this post makes me feel SO much better about the bad thoughts I have concerning some of the brides (and grooms for that matter) I deal with on a daily basis. I recently did a tasting for a 19 year old couple (kudos to the "mature" comment made earlier) and the bride has invited 425 people to the wedding...come to find out...she doesn't drink...so she wants no bar....come to find out later....she wants the wedding reception to go until 1AM (She insists they will stay)...please darlin'...your guests will be looking for a quick exit as soon as they arrive....I've done more weddings than you and your groom's ages combined...trust me on this one.

Posted by: Chris at December 14, 2005 06:45 PM

Baked Brie! Where did you find that recipe? I love baked brie!!

Posted by: Debbie at December 14, 2005 08:42 PM

You'll have to dig way back. I think it was posted on September 2004? It was among the first few months, as were the recipes for Lemon Drop and Orange Slice.

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