"She will probably bring all of her friends and family, and call it the rehearsal dinner."

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!

You don't have a listed phone number do you? Or put your number on the side of your van, do you?

HIDE.

How do they find you?!

At Costco of course.

You really need to stop going there.

Doesn't it just blow you away when people proudly tell you what utterly crass and selfish people they are. What gall!

You know, the problem isn't that there are so many of them, but that there are so few of us...

Don't feel bad, FW, they come to my shop, too, and boast about how they got stuff that was "just as good, and cheaper, too" to my other clients!

Just un-effing-believable, yeah?

Yogi

OMMFG! What a whack job!!! Run! Hide!! Do Not Let this Woman Signn a Contract with YOU AAAAAAAAAAAZK!!!!! Run NOW!!

As my mother would say,"That is TACKY BEHAVIOR." I bet she elbows her way to the front of the sample line, too.

How trashy! And what is sad is that she doesn't even seem to KNOW that it's trashy.

This one is going to be a problem.

A tasting. Ugh. UGH! Since you were meeting her, I'm guessing you'd already told her that you were available, right? What did you do!?

What you should have said: (parentheticals are non-verbalized thoughts)

Actually, I'm glad you brought that up...
(NOW, before the contract is signed)
I feel really really terrible
(for having spent any time with you at all)
but I won't be doing a tasting for you
(Miss Cheapy McCheapcheap)
because I'm not going to be able to do your party after all. I've been worked up about it since I found out
(ok, moments ago, but whatever)
but a while back I had made another committment
(to myself: a promise not to deal
with another client like you if
I could prevent doing so in ANY WAY)
and I simply can't break it.
(The prospect of dealing with your crap, well,)
It's awful and I'm really sorry
(that I didn't nip this in the bud sooner)
but, really, there's nothing I can do. I hope that you'll consider calling me again, despite this.
(because I'll know to lie & say I'm booked!)

If you read the non-indented lines first, it sounds sincere. If you read the whole thing, it is actually the truth. Bwa ha-ha-ha!

Perhaps she should take a really big bag to Costco and collect samples to serve at her wedding reception.

You really need to stop putting your business cards on the bulletin boards at Costco. ;)

What an awkward situation. Why did she THINK you wanted to meet at a restaurant? Did she just sit there while you ate lunch? Bizarro. Run FW, Run.

Danger, Danger, Will Robinson!
Run away.

Oh My God! My mom knows this woman (or someone eerily similar living in the greater Puget Sound area). On my mom's last day of work at an architecture firm, her supervisor took her to lunch . . . at Costco . . . uh, for free samples. My mom could not believe how low class that was.

Too funny. Steer clear of this woman.

Why turn down a trick? Why not just say tell, her that the testing it limited to 3 entrees ( which she will narrow down) and her and one other person.

"As my mother would say,"That is TACKY BEHAVIOR." I bet she elbows her way to the front of the sample line, too."

AND she probably parks her damn cart SIDEWAYS, blocking off all access to that aisle.

Good grief!

- hfs

If you take that contract, it will be for one reason only: fodder for your blog. That woman is insane, and you already know it.

She's like the bachelors at the happy hour hors d'oeuvres table I used to have to restock at TGIF. A bunch of starving sharks who would pounce on the popcorn shrimp (or whatever) as soon as I put it in the chafing dish, while nursing one tap beer for two hours. I saw more than one stick food in their suit pockets. Blech!

So ~ she'll eat a free "lunch" at Costco but won't take you up on your offer of paying for her lunch?

That's just weird.

You're not going to work for her, are you? She might try to pay you in Costco coupons!!!!! EGADS!!

Barb's on the right track here. Do a tasting for her, shop for the stuff at Costco, decorate some of those plastic dome things they use for samples and explain the service will be done 'self serve appetizer' style.

Then charge her $200 a person for triscuits, flavored cheese whips and microwaveable mini hot pockets.

Congrats on the food blog awards!