Diary of The Food Whore: Germophobe.

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Germophobe.

April 05, 2006

So I had a long day and decided that the freshly made cabbage rolls at my favorite deli looked too good to pass up for dinner. Add a little sauteed zucchini and carrot with a little (or a lot) of wine and that sounded like the perfect meal.

Deli Girl was in fine form with her newly-died hair in the interesting color of what I can only describe as mauve with a hint of sage green. I am not sure if she's going for the Easter Basket look or what she's got going on, but I admittedly felt compelled to shove a few plastic eggs in her ears.

Speaking of plastic eggs - big bummer about being a grown up. I don't get Easter Baskets any more. The Grandfather was The King of Easter Baskets. So much so that it became legend in our neighborhood to see what each year's take would be. We weren't technically supposed to know it was The Grandfather as he made the delivery very early on Easter Morning, but the unmistakable sound of his car driving up, and the fact that our neighbor Mr. Arnold always shouted, "Good Morning, Andy!" as the goodies were being placed was a dead giveaway.

But oh man did we score. He was very specific in his own love of chocolate, so we never got the hollow chocolate bunnies - it was solid chocolate or nothing else. And we got Marshmallow Peeps, jelly beans, candy necklaces, bubble gum and a list of other items too numerous to remember. But there was always, of course, a big fluffy stuffed bunny - and my favorite - Malted Milk Eggs. The kind with a pastel coating and colored speckles. In fact, that pastel coating makes a nice faux lipstick when licked. The Sister and I always found creative ways to be girls. Whether it was malted milk egg coating lipstick, or a strategically draped towell on our heads to pretend we were Cher, we were nothing if not creative.

Anyway, where was I...

Oh... the deli.

So I pointed my selection of cabbage rolls to Deli Girl. And then something horrible happened - she dug in her right ear. And then took that same hand - albeit gloved - and began to reach in the deli case for my rolls. And it was like slow motion horror watching her take that finger toward what was going to be my dinner. I know the look of horror on my face was the catalyst for her stopping mid-reach and getting the same look of horror on her own face.

We locked eyes for what seemed like an eternity, but it was only just long enough for her to pull back her hand, change the glove, and grab a tong.

No words were exchanged until she handed me my order. "I... I am sorry for the... it was subconscious... and..." I held up my hand and said, "It's fine. Let's never speak of this again." She nodded, and I was on my merry way.

Crisis averted people.

Crisis averted.

Posted by Foodwhore at April 5, 2006 09:29 AM

Maybe she was able to "feel" the plastic eggs being shoved into her ears?

Posted by: Tom Hedgepeth at April 5, 2006 10:41 AM

Oh, that's classic! "Ear wax never tasted so good!"

My boyfriend's mother, who is Korean, makes the best cabbage rolls. And, I swear - she packed away 7 of those babies the last time we visited. She had gas something terrible that night, between the cabbage rolls and the kim-chee.

Posted by: Kat at April 5, 2006 12:14 PM

Well, at least she was as horrified as you were, unlike the nose-picking man!

Posted by: Kellyr2 at April 5, 2006 01:54 PM

How bad must the look of horror on your face been to have stopped her in mid-reach??? :)

Posted by: hinata at April 5, 2006 08:30 PM

Phew! Close call!

Posted by: Nerissa at April 5, 2006 10:17 PM

I have a thing about gloves. To me, they signal "untrained people who don't care about food." People who really know food don't wear gloves -- they wash their hands and observe good food handling practices. Gloves can be just as unsanitary as bare hands, as this horrifying example shows. (I know, these people are no doubt required to wear gloves. Still.)

Posted by: bushpigeon at April 5, 2006 11:45 PM

I just can't eat food like that anymore: Food that other people prepared that just sits in an allegedly refrigerated/heated case waiting to get bought. Too many bad experiences, too many opportunities for disgusting mishaps. I have seen too many people eat while standing at the salad bar, and too many times where the food isn't hot enough or cold enough to be safe.

Where's that egg-based food poisoning preventative we were promised? Anyone remember that?

Posted by: JoAnna at April 6, 2006 01:24 AM

Oh my goodness, some people just don't care about cleanliness. Don't even get me started on bathroom etiquette (or lack thereof). Glad crises was averted.

Posted by: Walter at April 6, 2006 01:34 AM

Hm. Imagine what she does during the food prep in the back room when no one's watching! Ew!

Posted by: Mandy Brekke at April 6, 2006 04:19 AM

to quote the lady on Dodgeball... I just threw up a little in my mouth!

Thank goodness the crisis was averted. Hope dinner was good :)
--Weaver

Posted by: Weaver at April 6, 2006 06:20 AM

At least she got it enough to be horrified. My story - The guy running my credit card in Fred Meyer who SCRATCHED HIS NOSE with my card, and when I said I couldn't believe he just did that, said, with dull, blank look, "why, do you scratch your nose with it?" Called the manager, and windexed the card. EEEWWW.

Posted by: Shera at April 6, 2006 12:30 PM

Odd, my kids loved the Harry Potter jellybeans.

Earwax. Dirt. Earthworm. Rotten Egg.

Do you know they make Petrol flavored ones too?

Posted by: veg4me at April 6, 2006 02:37 PM

Life is odd, I never seem to get the interesting bits, thats why I read your blog, to live vicariously. And to lmao!

Just a thought, ever consider that you're jinxed?

Posted by: Tony S. at April 6, 2006 11:27 PM