Diary of The Food Whore: What A Wonderful... No... Wait....

What A Wonderful... No... Wait....

April 02, 2006

The Client is a fabulous human being. We love working with her and the organization she represents.

They have a love of good food, and are completely open to whatever it is we want to do.

So last night was more of the same.

There were three casual buffet stations brimming with delicious food (ifIdosaysomyself), and the guests were top notch. All very kind. All very gracious.

The facility had a fabulous set up including the best off-site kitchen we've ever had the pleasure to use. Anyone who's ever catered an affair will appreciate when I say we dealt with a fully stocked kitchen with everything at our disposal. Everything. From convection ovens to linens to china to the tiniest detail of serving tongs. So instead of arriving with vans full of incidentals, we only had to show up with our food and make it all happen.

At one point we were casually meandering around the kitchen The Partner commented on how wonderful the night was. It felt like the event was catering itself.

We all agreed.

And then I tempted fate by stepping out to walk the stations, and just before I turned to head back in the kitchen two men came over and proceeded to - without shame - dip their fingers into the spicy orange sauce. They just - dipped. And licked their fingers. And when they realized I was watching them The First Dipper said, "Everyone is raving about this sauce so we thought we would give it a try...", and wiped his hands on a napkin as they walked on by.

I stood there, speechless. No witty comebacks. No desire to be sarcastic.

Just silent.

Silent... in hopes that would make it less real. That I could somehow keep it a secret, even from myself.

But then, as often is the case, my attempts to be silent were ill-fated as I put some sauce on a plate and brought it to their table. And in a low whisper I said, "I brought this to you out of a desire to help ease what must be your complete mortification and unending embarrassment over what I am certain was an accidental act by sticking your hands into a bowl shared by all here tonight. Lick away, fellas." And with that I smiled a mock sympathetic smile and patted them on their backs.

I really should have gone with my original major of psychology. Then - maybe - I would understand people.

Because right now, I got nothin.

Posted by Foodwhore at April 2, 2006 01:26 PM

I really admire how you say these things. I wish I could be that type of person, but I usually just end up staring in amazement then bitching about it later. Have you always been that forthright?

Posted by: Della at April 2, 2006 05:07 PM

Bravo!

I just lost it today and however my circumstances are now different, it just felt so good to put a customer in their due place.

I wasn't so diplomatic though... shame.

Posted by: Deirdre at April 2, 2006 05:25 PM

Did you see the pilot episode of Top Chef, (free on iTunes) where the contestant is working on the line, and sticks his fingers in the sauce to taste it? And that chef was not only thrown off the line, but probably resulted in his being the first one thrown off the show? Priceless.

There's a chef who works for P@tin@ that I watched testing sheetpan after sheetpan of filet mignon at the Oscars at the Shrine. He'd stick his finger in a few of the filets, licking in between each, and then go to the next pan, and repeat the poke-lick process. I had to get away! This came as no surprise: http://snipurl.com/olam

Posted by: Not putting my name on this one at April 2, 2006 11:30 PM

Good for you for calling them on it!

Having had the (mis)fortune to go through a hospitalization ($40K) due to e.coli, I am REALLY sensitive to being careful with food -- even when it's just me fixing it for myself.

Posted by: Mary at April 3, 2006 12:02 PM

you are an amasing person to still be able to eat after witnessing atrocities. i guess you dont really eat much food made available to the general public, though.

Posted by: violet at April 3, 2006 03:38 PM

you should work at my restaurant, where we are *encouraged* to say such things.

Posted by: ginger at April 4, 2006 07:57 PM

People.

They are idiots.

Posted by: Barb at April 5, 2006 03:20 AM

Some people are just revolting.

Posted by: Toast at April 5, 2006 12:49 PM

Your ability to remain sane,AND keep your sense of humor is amazing!!

Posted by: Maria at April 5, 2006 02:04 PM

I would have paid good money to have seen the look on their faces when you put that plate down.

Bravo, FW, Bravo!

Posted by: Phyllis at April 6, 2006 11:30 AM