Absolutely disgusting! We know the urge to burp is technically a natural occurrence, particularly evident in the male species... but he nerve to burp out-loud 1)at an occasion that is formal enough to call for a caterer 2)in front of a lady and 3)at the carving station, no less! I feel for you.

I don't understand the deal where it's okay do burp the alphabet at the carving station, but it's not okay to stab him.

Biggles

I love your site and read it daily. But I have to admit I find it a bit funny that you are writing a post about how disgusting burping in public is directly after a post about how much you used to enjoy playing in fresh cow manure. That in itself is kind of funny.

Tracy

Ahh the things we find the most amusing as kids are usually the ones that totally turn us off as adults!

"Standing over the carving station on Saturday night while Mr. Burp's-A-Lot amused himself, I only had the urge to impale him with my fork."

FW, that is how we know we aren't 12 any more. I think I might have used the carving knife on him, myself.

Look very closely, FW....that propably *was* Frat Boy Jake (or his son, Frat Boy Jake Junior) burping the alphabet at your carving station!

In high school, this "talent" was called "Bralphing" (Burp Alphabet). It was so gross to hear both JV and Varsity squad of cheerleaders attempt to get the assembly join in during pep rallies. That was such a lifetime ago....

Women have an incommensurate reaction to burping. I don't get the phobia. In this case, being a public "bralphabet" (nice term, btw), it was obviously uncalled for. But I must admit, my initial reaction to hearing someone burp is to assess my ability to outburp them in response. Usually by this point that internal censor in my head kicks in, and if there are women around, the social tragedy is prevented before it starts. Typically male, I suppose. But I still don't get why women freak out so completely over burping. 'Tis one of those mysteries.

I've been convinced for many years that in order to graduate from sixth grade, boys must be able to burp on cue.

I wonder... If one were to stab "Bralph" just at the start of dinner, would it be proper to stab with the the salad or appetizer fork since it's the first to the outside, or because he's made out of meat, would it be more polite to stab with the meat fork closer to the plate?