I just measure with tablespoons when I bake. it works for me, and nothing awful has happened when I lost count. But then I don't really do anything complicated.

It took me a solid 5 years of on and off practice to master pastry. Still now, I don't always get it right. It's my baking demon.
I do enjoy making all things flour, and the measuring doesn't bother me. Unfortunately though, it's probably the reason why I'll always be Mrs Wobble Butt...

It's so nice to know I'm not the only one who has this problem. Non-baked goods, I can do. Baking... well, some things I've mastered to some degree. And I've started doing bread (kind of). But mistress of the pies and cakes etc, I am not.

Food processor. Make your pastry in a food processor. Dump in the flour, fat and salt. Pulse. Dribble in the water until it looks like it's coming together while pulsing. Done.

Total time: 1 min 30 seconds.

Seriously.
It takes longer to wash up afterward.
If you want the whole by-hand experience, then keep plugging. But for goodness sakes, don't give up!

Oh....I'm kind of laughing and doing the sad shake of the head for you right now!
I'd love to give you advice, but I cannot! I'm the exact same way! My man's favorite thing on Earth is chocolate chip cookies, but I can't make them right no matter how hard I try.

Give up. Use store bought.

Pillsbury. Unroll it and slap it in the pie pan. Un-screw-up-able.

I gave up on pastry years ago. Some things just aren't worth the struggle. I buy frozen pie shells and haven't managed to screw them up. Yet.

My father-in-law likes to bake but had never made pie crust, only bread. So when he DID finally make pie crust, he kneaded it.

Bet his was worse than yours.

Wounded pride spurred me to tackle pie crusts, after a brunch guest ignored my beautiful homemade Danish pastry and scones to make a snippy remark about the the quiches made with frozen pie shells. I eventually found an idiot-proof recipe that whizzes up in the food processor. Now there's always a batch or two in the freezer, ready for any fruit windfall. I'm still no pie master but my freeform tarts keep the boys happy with minimal effort.

Sour cream is the secret weapon in pie crusts... 1 Tablespoon. I agree with the food processor- it takes me longer to clean up.

Try this recipe and it'll melt in your mouth:
2 1/2 c a.p. flour
1/2 c cold butter, cut into bits
1/2 c cold shortening, cut into bits
1 T sugar
1 t salt
1 T sour cream
up to 1/4 c ice water

Place flour, sugar and salt in processor, pulse 5 times. Add butter, pulse 5 times. Add shortening, pulse 5 times. Add sour cream, pulse 5 times. Take out of the processor and put into a large bowl, add ice water 1 T at a time and work in with cold hands until moist. Divide in 2 halves, wrap in plastic wrap and flatten into disk. Refrigerate 30 minutes. Roll out, refrigerate for another 30 minutes. Makes enough pastry for a double crust pie or about 6 individual pies. Too easy for words... even easier that defrosting the frozen ones. I make it so often, I just pulled that out of my head- I'll check the actual recipe tonight and let ya'll know if I missed something.

I think a whole lotta people can do one or the other really well when it comes to baking vs. "real" cooking. I am a great baker and I can make a pie crust that'll make you slap yer granny.

But I regularly completely eff up dinner to the point of throwing it all out and heading to a restaurant.

Baking is good stuff, but I think dinner is more important. ;)

My motto is: If at first you don't succeed, give up. I think you have done the right thing by crossing pie pastry off your list of things you must do.

ah my pie crust sister. I wondered how you ended up since we were seperated at birth.

You could shingle roofs with my pie crust. My husband tried to sell it at the family reunion once as such...bastard.

I am only comforted by sister in law Kimmy, whom on her first ever "I'll make the pies for easter" used frozen pie shells, instant pudding and cool whip topping for her cream pies...you're right, that wouldn't have been so bad IF...wait for it...she had baked the frozen shells....or (I shit you not) taken the wax paper liner out of them before she put the pudding in......

At least my shingle-crust is homemade and baked and stuff.

I'm with EJ on the Pillsbury crusts. I have no problem cutting corners as long as something still tastes good, and the lovely folks at Pillsbury know what they're doing.

I'm not really a baker, either. Hub bakes like a pro, though, so it works out.

I'm sorry but I've never understood this complaint. I'm not a great baker (I can't do those food-porn buttercream roses) but it's just not that hard to follow diretions and measure stuff. It just takes a bit of discipline. It's not that hard to bake a cake.

Pie crust, though, can be a challenge. I've watched Julia roll out a pie crust and have a perfect circle with a diameter of exactly 11 inches. I, on the other hand, roll it out and have some vaguely oblong shape with cracks resembling the mighty Mississippi running through it.

Loved the post... thanks... too funny. 'Tis ok, cause after all you are the FOOD Whore, not the PASTRY Whore!

LOL - speckledpup your comment made me think of my step-aunt, who once made us a lasagna without cooking the spinach noodles first! Tomato sauce sandwiched between cardboard - mmmmm..

I'm lucky on the piecrust front, my great grandmother was a fantastic baker, and it seems to run in the family. She taught me how to make pie crust when I was 10, hers has brown sugar, egg yolk, and vinegar in it, and it's fabu.
But, I can't seem to make a tender pot roast to save my life, so we all have our crosses to bear.

I can't make a pie crust to save my lefe. EJ has the right idea.

I bake (it is therapeutic for me), hubby is the toss-it-in Italian chef (as in he is Italian and was a prof chef)...let's just say that we don't starve at our house!

There's a great cookbook called "Pie" that has about a dozen pie crust recipes in the front, including a nice oil crust which is way easier than anything I've ever used before and tastes pretty good too (I like it with pumpkin pie). But the sweet tart crust in the joy of cooking is probably best for rhubarb, and takes about four minutes to make by hand (with a fork even, not even any special pasty tools).

Once you know what you're doing you can fool around with what you're making. The same as any kind of cooking. silly.

I'm absolutely positive that if FW wanted to learn how to bake, she has a large number of friends/professionals who would be glad to teach her.
As opposed to us numbskulls what are incapable of hearing someone say "I can't do that" without replying, "Yes you can! And I'll show you how!", without thinking that maybe the person in questions doesn't WANT to learn, just air things out a little.
Hmmm?

I spent a couple of years as an R&D baker. I never level off and I don't sift, except for angel food cake. You can't show the ingredients fear, or they'll get you every time. Approach them nonchalantly and if all else fails - chop it all up, put it in a pretty dish, scoop some ice cream on top and drizzle a sauce over all. Voila - dessert!

I think the next time The Mother asks what you would like for B-Day, etc., you should tell her that you would like a passel of her pie crust for your freezer! Pre-rolled out and frozen w a sheet of wax paper between each one... Hmmm, the more I think of that the more I think I may ask my Mo in Law for the same thing!

Love your blog, FW!

I gave up a long time ago and succumbed to Pillsbury. It just made life less dangerous in the kitchen.

I make a fabulous pie crust. The secret is that the butter should _not_ be hard and cold. It should be slightly softened at a cool room temperature. Cut it into a few pieces first so they will soften evenly. Then proceed with recipe. The softened butter can be mixed with the flour much faster, resulting in less handling. I use my hands, even though they're warm.

I don't bake either for exactly the same reasons. Fortunately I married someone who is a baking perfectionist. Win-win.

Baked goods I can make - cake, cookies, bread (no bread makers here!). My trouble lies in making proper fudge. I won't even TRY pies, because they could never come up to my MIL's standard anyway, and why worry myself? Hah.

I'm not a fabulous chef and am at best a hack baker. BUT I have learned the secret to pie crust from the awesome guy at good eats.

cold=flakey

warm=tender

So I do half the butter cold and half warm and the results are awesome.

The other trick I use frequently is to hit the local French patisserie and get them to cough up some of their dough. ;)

ROFL!! Brought me back a few to when I was a newlywed & got a rolling pin for a wedding present. Subsequently, someone gave me a gift of a large pumpkin. And since it was November, it was too late to carve it, so I thought I'd make my very first pumpkin pie - for my in-law's Thaksgiving table. (As in my mother-in-law who makes ab-fab pies.)

First, since my father-in-law had a heart condition, I thought I'd try to make a low fat pie crust. Then, apparently pumpkin pies are NOT made from that big squash that you carve to make a jack-o-lantern. SIGH.... If you could ignore the texture, it actually didn't taste half-bad.

I have not made a pie crust again. However, hubby thought he might give it a try this past Thanksgiving. But, when he saw how long it took me to stop laughing at the very idea, he went out & bought the premade crust. Much more betterly!!!

I've never quite understood people who are so regimented with their baking. My mother, step-mother and I are all people who just sort of throw the ingredients in. Like someone else above, I never level, sift etc. When following a recipe I tend to approximate quantities, change ingredients and so forth. Sure we sometimes have disasters, but no-one makes everything perfectly first time everytime.

(To be perfectly honest though, I have never made my own pastry...cutting corners sometimes is never a bad thing)

I made my own piecrust for years, until one party when I was too stressed and running out of time, in desperation I bought a Pillsbury crust.
To my chagrin: "This is your best crust ever!" "How do you do it?" Etc.
Lesson learned, everyone still enjoys my 'homemade' crust, and I have time to concentrate on other things for the meal.

At least it's a handicap and not a lack of trying. I make a damn good pie crust, I'm just too damn lazy. Pillsbury is way easier than being covered in flour all day.