oh now that's a good one!

Welcome to my world.

Now would be a good time to tell her that if she wants anything nicer then chips and salsa and maybe some cold cuts from the deli, she is SOL.

Oh, to be a fly on the wall when you tell her.

So, you're telling me that your company needs more than seven days to meet with me, establish a price range, plan a menu/posible wine pairings, visit the venue, schedule staff, stage the service, shop, prep, arrange any additional equipment rental, co-ordinate restaurant staff schedule to allow for your absence from said establishment, whip up samples of catering menu items not usually found on your restaurant menu on a simple Friday night (How's 8:00? My Bridesmaids are coming too!,)field 20-30 calls in six days from anxious brides, mothers of brides, mothers of grooms, maids of honor, and "the Flower Girl's Mommy", and show up on The Big Day at least three hours early to field questions from everyone...Wedding planner and Florist, straight through the DJ and "Where the Hell is the Cake Table?", to the Flower Girl's Daddy.? AND you want to charge me more than $20 per person...for fish?? I always heard ya'll did good work. I mean, what kind of place IS this?.

Can we all say valley girl?

How do you even reply to something like that? Or do you just ignore it? I would just ignore it, but then, I know nothing about food business. Do you kindly reply that you need at least a month I'm guessing in advance? And risk that the silly moron will go around telling everyone that you wouldn't do it with like a week to go? Or do you just ignore it and risk the 'they didn't even get back to me'? I presume writing back and telling her she's an idiot would be the worst option huh? Too bad it's the most enticing...

I think tapping your phone and playing select audio clips on this site is a great idea...

My god....some people have no clue at all. I'm guessing she can't be much of a domestic goddess herself if she has obviously no clue how long it takes to prepare for things like this. It's either that, or she is a really self centered person and has the impression that the "hired help" (even though she hasn't actually hired you yet) is supposed to just jump and accomodate her every need and 'make it happen'.

Maybe she got dropped on her head too many times as a child.

I'd be walking around saying "Crazy people!"

Oh, but I do that now anyway.

I could swear I just heard your head hit the keyboard. Amazing how people consider weddings nothing more than an overblown dinner party. Please do share what you responded with.

U-n-b-e-l-i-e-v-a-b-l-e.

What's her phone number?

I'm going to ring the silly cow!

sounds like you could make a fortune if you play it right :)- and with only a week left, there can't be THAT many phone calls, right? think about all these weddings where they gave you plenty of notice and pestered the heck out of you. honestly, there is no pleasing you people. ;) and no, I am not a troll, just very sarcastic... cant wait to hear what you tell her...

I'd probably give her the phone number to the local Pizza Hut.

My guess (unless she is brain damaged) is her other caterer fell through, and she's playing stupid. If you were crazy enough to even imagine calling her back, she'd probably nickel and dime you while whining about how difficult this time is for her and generally cause you to want to shove some tongs into her in an uncomfortable place.

I would not even reply to it!! Let us know what you do with that.

Beyond unbelievable! Wonder if this is the first meeting with the florist as well...and if she wants elaborate out-of-season arrangements.

Please, please, please let us know what you told her. [I personally might favor an auto-response "The FW requires at least 2 months notice for weddings...currently, the earliest available booking date is November 31]

Now would be a good time for me.

My latest motto -

"Snooze, you LOOOOOOOOOOZE, Baby."

My question : Do you have enough drugs to rid of the pounding headache?

But then, this is a "no brainer", n'est ce pas?

Tootles,
Anni :-)

wow. some people are just completely clueless. i'd love to be a fly on the wall when you tell her that getting a deli, veggie, and fruit tray from her local grocery store will probably be the fanciest thing she can manage with such short notice. i wonder if she did the same thing with the cake people and florist? if their wedding day is so important to people why leave (important) things like catering until the last second? that's just asking for a nightmare.

one week...who does that?@!?!?!

One can always try the ever-so-polite, and ever-so-insincere (even when ever-so-true) "We would have been delighted to cater your wedding, unfortunately we are already booked to cater another event on that day, a booking made six months ago. Wishing you the best on your wedding day, sig-file-goes-here."

Seriously, though, how do you handle that? Politely say 'no'?

And Amy, I doubt that if she's looking for a caterer now that she has even looked at a wedding planner!

Or perhaps that was her other phone call this week? ;)

Her cluelessness is hilarious. I hope you had a good laugh when you read it.

Please keep us posted. ;)

Oh my. Now THAT was a good one. LOL

The caterer is a "finishing touch" in her world? What planet is she on?!

Dear Angela,
Like, no problem! Just, like, tell me where the reception will be, and I'll toootally be there with bells on! I just have to swing throught the drive through of the Mc Donalds to get you some super-fabulous food for your super-fabulous wedding and it will just be so cool! Can't wait to meet you!!!
*pop* *pop* *POP* (gum popping)
Sincerely,
Mrs. NO BLEEPING WAY!

Heh. I've told 12 brides in the last two days we're fully booked for Sept and Oct already. They are so surprised! It boggles the mind.

Then there's always the customer who calls and wonders if we can help? Help with what? Oh, I need a cake for a small get together, to feed say 45-50 people tomorrow.... hello??? I usually tell them there's always Sam's.

So. . . are you doing it?

Seriously, I think this chickie has been watching too many soap operas, where everything happens in an instant. Especially weddings.

You oughta stop by the happy event on the 20th and check it out, then report back.

Oh but wait! PLEASE tell me this is a friend of Bridezilla...I know that the month of December was the month of Bridezilla. It is, isn't it???

Good lord. Takes me longer than that to get in to get my hair cut. Holy crap.

And here we have one more reason why I'm now in respiratory therapy instead of hotel convention and banquet planning. Hee! Sorry, girlfriend. I know how that one feels but, unfortunately, it's still illegal to kill stupid people.

I would maybe suggest she plan on a McDonald's take out! Or maybe KFC! What in the hell was she thinking!

At first I thought maybe they were doing a sort of spur-of-the moment thing and then i re-read it and saw about the long engagement. How ... odd.

This is hilarious! Let us know how it went ;-)

Hmmm... this job seems like a no-brainer to me.

It simply comes down to two questions for her, "Regular?" or "Extra-crispy?"

If what you posted is verbatim, I can only assume that the poor thing is only 18 or 19 years old and dumb as a post.

Silly you for not posting her telly!

Im dying to know what happened next.

Hey - easy - give her the phone number for the local Costco store. They have platters of vegies, fruit, cheese, pick up already cooked chickens and ribs, mashed potatoes that just pop in the oven, big sheet cakes already made, flowers for the table, wine and even champagne. Down another isle there are disposible plates, napkins, forks, spoons, extra large bags for the garbage. They will even sell her tables if she needs them. All she has to do is backup her SUV and it's a one stop shop wedding dinner to go. After a LONG engagement and no planning it's what she deserves:)

Another reason I switched from cooking the food to growing the food.....