Diary of The Food Whore: Be Careful What You Wish For

Be Careful What You Wish For

September 26, 2006

The first 'rock' concert I ever went to was Bryan Adams at the Tacoma Dome circa the summer of '84 - or was that '85? At any rate, it took a lot of convincing (read:whining)on my part to get permission to go. The Parents were less than enthusiastic about sending their precious daughter into the throes of what was bound to be nothing more than a giant kegger, complete with funny smelling cigarettes. The relented after days of assurance on my part that I was old enough, responsible enough and able to handle whatever bad influences would come at me. (I had a flair for the dramatic... even then)

So a group of us fools got all dressed up in our finest 80's fashion trends - (Yours truly was big on the big shirts with behemoth belts, and big flame-worthy hair) and stood in line for hours determined to be one of the first 100 people inside the dome to secure our spot on the floor, stage center. We wanted to be able to reach out and touch Bryan during what was bound to be the best version of the Summer of '69 ever. We were convinced that being in the middle of the action was the only way possible to get the full concert experience.

Fools.

At first it was fine. The rush and excitement of it all was enough to keep us all stupidly happy. We had made it to the front and thought we were the coolest kids on the planet. The more people who crammed in behind and around us, the cooler we thought we were. And then Bryan came out, and mayhem ensued, and people started flooding the floor like the Half-Yearly sale at Nordstrom. That was when we all got separated in the rush, and started realizing that perhaps the dream of being first wasn't all it was cracked up to be. The temperature began to rise, and crowd control was next to Nil. Before long the group of 20 was disbanded down to groups of two visible only to those of us tall enough to recognize one another in the mayhem. I had never been so sweaty in my life, and the ability to breathe was becoming nearly impossible. And then I realized that I was standing still but my feet weren't touching the ground.

It was then The Mother's words of wisdom went flashing through my mind, "Be careful what you wish for..."

I thought of that the other night as the Trick was coming to a close. We had been so wishing for the kind of Client and the kind of Trick that had no problems whatsoever. No stress, no issues, no kids pulling table cloths off the tables... just, nice.

And we had it. But the realization that perhaps we were masochists who needed the stress occurred to us as The Client came in the kitchen one last time.

The Client - sweet, dear woman. But an exact match for that character from back in the days of the Mary Tyler Moore show - you know, Ted Baxter's girlfriend Georgette. Soft spoken, a little... naive. But so incredibly sweet. So sweet, in fact, it started to grate on our nerves as she stood there in her chiffon to tell us one more time what a blessing we were. Which, I am sure you are all thinking, "Good grief what is so bad about that?" And what is so bad is when it happens 6 or so times an hour in the middle of the rush. And she would clasp her hands and shake her head, "...such a blessing." And God Bless her but the soft-spoken sweetness started to tear away at the nerves.

I know, I know... bitch when it's good, bitch when it's bad. I just wish I knew what to wish for.

Posted by Foodwhore at September 26, 2006 11:09 AM

I would wish for a couple of small problems throughout the trick to keep you slightly stressed but not bored out of your mind. And hopefully, if you get small, easily dealt with problemns throughout the night, Murphy will take pity on you and you won't have any big problems. Better to be steady than super busy or slow. It's hard to convince my husband of that when I waitress. I always make more money when I'm steady cuz I'm constantly busy and only a little stressed therefore I pay better attention to my customers. When I'm busy, I get weede. When I get weeded, I pull my hair out. And no one wants to leave a big tip to a bald waitress.

Posted by: Leslie at September 26, 2006 01:54 PM

Is that a vacation I smell in your future or is it simply the steam coming out of your ears?
I feel for you sweetie...you really need a break before the holidays - okay?
Take care and hang in there!

Posted by: SkippyMom at September 26, 2006 02:37 PM

Here, here!!!!!

Posted by: Cat at September 26, 2006 03:10 PM

Sometimes, (and I know, I have experienced it myself), the personalities of some people just get on your nerves for no apparent reason at all.....I just crack it up to be "incompatible personalities"!

Sounds like you need to take some boxing lessons so you can vent a bit! :) (heehee)

Posted by: Carmen at September 26, 2006 03:22 PM

Just wish for the compassion to forgive yourself when you feel bitchy about those "sweeter" folk who irritate the rest of us at times. You are not alone, and we must learn to be kind to ourselves as we strive to improve.

Posted by: Marsha at September 26, 2006 03:54 PM

Maybe she was too-subtly trying to tell you that you need to add more sugar to your recipes. Did you forget to ice the cupcakes? :) If you look hard enough, you can probably find some way that she was awful. Maybe she laughs maniacally as she pours kerosene into the ground or, OMG, throws her recycling in with the trash.

Posted by: k at September 26, 2006 06:06 PM

There is just something very attractive about self-respect. This woman clearly didn't have any. What you wish for is someone who respects themselves and you as well.

Can't help you with the Bryan Adams thing, though. How did it end?

Posted by: kerewin at September 26, 2006 10:05 PM

I have always said "You just can't trust people who are nice/happy all the time." What are they hiding?!!

Posted by: Chef Cary at September 27, 2006 06:15 AM

Of one thing I am certain: anyone who wears chiffon has a secret evil side.

Posted by: alfagirl at September 27, 2006 04:57 PM