Diary of The Food Whore: Like Father Like Son

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Like Father Like Son

October 03, 2006

One of the greatest joys of my life is the fact that I have two refrigerators.

I know, how sad. If that is one of the greatest joys of my life - safe to say my life ranks pretty high on the pathetic scale.

But anyway... I have two refrigerators. One, of course, sits nicely in my kitchen. The second fits nicely in our back storage room/hall - and it's known as The Back Fridge. (We're a creative lot in the Food Whore House.) The Back Fridge holds things like pop (otherwise known as Soda for my East Coast Born Husband), beer, wine, extra condiments that don't fit in The Main Fridge, my supply of cheeses, and it's the place where leftovers go as not to take up space in The Main Fridge.

Now - I try to be very careful not to complain about The Husband. The man, while not perfect, does have to live with me. And that is about like living with a rabid raccoon - cute from a distance, until you look at them wrong and they launch a full scale attack on your manhood and leave you frothing at the mouth.

But Sunday afternoon as I was retrieving beer from The Back Fridge to serve with the snacks I made for the group of us to eat while watching The Seahawks get mauled by Da Bears, I found a couple stray cans of Coke.

To explain why this discovery was so important I need to back track to The Husband's annual physical a few months ago. Everything looked great, but the doctor did express the importance of keeping genetics in mind. The Husband's father has cholesterol issues, and while The Husband does not at this moment, it is important to be aware. And I am aware. I have plenty of conversations with The Mother In Law while she spends time in her garage finding The Father In Law's "secret" stashes of potato chips and Pepsi.

The Man - The Father In Law, that is - is prone to sneaking small bags of potato chips and spending a lot of time "checking the oil" (his words) on the car. The Mother In Law knows the real deal, and sometimes she turns a blind eye, but will share stories of grotesque plaque build up she reads about in medical journals. Other times she finds reasons to go to the garage with him, thereby sabotaging the plot. But she's no fool. She checks his hiding places - often. When she actually catches him in the act, he will come back with a compliment. "Baby, have you lost weight? Baby, you're so pretty. Baby, your hair looks real nice today."

So I deal with the same behaviors from The Husband. And it can be exasperating.

The Doctor asked The Husband if he had any vices, and The Husband was honest enough to say he loved Coke - as in the beverage, not the nose candy which Lindsay Lohan seems to have so much trouble parting with. No, my guy is addicted to red cans of "sweet goodness" as he calls it, and has been known to drink 3 or 4 cans during a push to get a project done.

Now, I am not The Coke Police, but I do know what the doctor said he needed to cut back to the point where he could have one or two a week, until such time he said Buh-Bye to the stuff all together. The Husband was all business in the doctor's office, "Certainly... I understand... no problem... piece of cake... mmmmm cake..."

The Husband asked for my help by having me not buy any from The Grocery Store. "Out of sight, out of mind", he said.

So cut to last week and I got home late from A Trick, and The Husband was working in his office and let out a loud sneeze. Only the loud sneeze didn't cover the sound of a can being opened quite like he thought it would. So when I walked by his office and looked in with raised eyebrow, he had the look of a child sneaking open presents under The Christmas tree. I said nothing, instead going on about my business.

So Sunday when I found the Cokes I turned around to find The Husband standing nervously over me. "Baby, you're so pretty..."

Yeah, yeah. *sigh*

Posted by Foodwhore at October 3, 2006 12:50 PM

Banned food is sooooo delicious, though!

And, I totally understand being all gloaty about two fridges. I have two entire kitchens in one house, and I'm not even a professional! ;)

Posted by: Anne at October 4, 2006 07:48 PM

i think its general male behavior ;)

Posted by: renee at October 4, 2006 09:58 PM

Isnt it funny how the male of the species find us so attractive when they're in trouble? haha, excellent story!

Posted by: Duckie at October 5, 2006 05:40 AM

coke doesn't have cholesterol in it!!! appalled...

Posted by: Tonja at October 5, 2006 07:09 AM

It's not just the male of the species that has problems with self control as far as 'banned food items' go.....I actually have far less control than my husband does.....usually he is the one to give me sh##!t if I am eating something I shouldn't be!

Oh well.....(then again he is German....)..rules are rules....

Posted by: Carmen at October 5, 2006 07:19 AM

Heh, we have 2 fridges and a full stand-up deep freezer in our kitchen and another fridge out in the laundry room.

I just thought it was because my husband liked to collect appliances.

Posted by: tempestteapot at October 5, 2006 07:47 AM

Ah, see, this sounds familiar - except usually it's me trying to sneak in that extra piece of chocolate before the DH notices. He's so healthy it's disgusting.

Good luck!

Posted by: Em at October 5, 2006 07:52 AM

I, a woman, would have coke for breakfast every morning if someone would convince me that it was good for me-that, and Ding Dongs.

Posted by: Linda at October 5, 2006 09:44 AM

Co-worker is (frankly) addicted to Coke, so I shared this post -- she'll see it Monday.

I have always thought that "soda" is a West Coast term and "pop" is southern/east coast.

Not that I drink soda/pop other than 7-up if my stomach's upset :)

Posted by: Mary at October 5, 2006 07:03 PM

A second fridge for leftovers?? Brilliant!

I always thought 'pop' is midwest and 'soda' is both coasts and the south, though I've heard at least one southerner refer to all pop/soda as 'coke' regardless of the brand. Is that true for all southerners? I'm curious....

Posted by: AuntJone at October 6, 2006 06:09 AM

As a southerner, it is very true "Coke" is the proper term covering any carbonated beverage in a can. "Pop" is something Yankees say, bless their hearts.

Example:

Q: "You want a coke with lunch?"
A: "Yep."
Q: "What kind?"
A: "Dr. Pepper."

Posted by: Miche at October 6, 2006 06:16 AM

Miche is right on track with us Southern types! At my house, The Man says things like "mistakes were made," when he wants to cover up something or get out of the dog house. : )

Posted by: Mary at October 6, 2006 02:43 PM

Actually, it depends where in the US. Here in Kansas City, it's "pop", but over in St. Louis, it's "soda". Go figure.

Posted by: rach at October 6, 2006 06:18 PM

I too have a crippling addiction to coke. I'm slowly (very slowly) weaning myself off of it.

I'm from Canada, but have lived in the south (North Carolina) and north-east (New Hampshire). I call it pop. My husband, from NH, calls it Soda and never even heard of "pop" before he met me. (Or "serviette" for that matter). When I lived in the south, they really did all call it "coke" no matter what. Confused the heck out of me for a looong time.

Posted by: Jenn at October 7, 2006 06:46 PM

That's hilarious but I live in California and everyone I know calls it " soda". I've never heard anyone call it "pop" except in the movies.

Posted by: Tiffany at October 8, 2006 03:55 PM

Hmmm... males ARE all the same.

Oh, and would it make you envious that my mother has three fridges AND a large stand up freezer in her house?

Posted by: Nerissa at October 8, 2006 10:24 PM