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Watermelon Juice
May 30, 2007

I just spent the last 10 minutes with a wet rag trying to get the watermelon juice stains off my white shirt. Why I bother with white is beyond me. But somehow wearing a heat-absorbing black shirt in 85-degree weather seemed stupid.

The watermelon, a lucious leftover from Memorial Day, is fabulicious. It's all crispy and juicy, and coupled with today's sunshine makes my heart full of hope for the wonderful Summer we are about to embark on.

I do this every year - I wax poetic over the dreams of barefoot frolics and sipping cold beers on hot summer nights. It's my way of enabling my denial about the fact that June kicks of Wedding Season with great fanfare, and will set the tone for the rest of the summer.

My first Trick of the month will be with Lo Carb Bride, whom I had to sit with for over an hour and convince her that offering her guests a little starch wasn't going to make them all bloat and gain weight over the course of the evening. And while she was tempted - insisted, even - on serving only protiens, thank God I prevailed with my Well Balanced Speech.

The next gig involves The Denial Bride who's Groom to Be is a recovering alcoholic, along with other members of his family, and became nearly hysterical at the idea that she could not drink at her own wedding. Because apparently "A wedding is not a wedding unless the bride is a little tipsy." Why that statement didn't make The Groom run for the hills is beyond me.

But my job is not to be a marriage counselor - no - my job is to show up, serve the food and share the juicy stories later.

Speaking of juicy - time to get back to the watermelon.

Posted by Foodwhore at May 30, 2007 12:16 PM

Tide to Go pens are the best thing invented. While I haven't tried them on watermelon, I did get coffee out of a white skirt with one pen.

Posted by: Melissa at May 30, 2007 01:43 PM

Wow. Lo Carb Bride needs to lay off the crack. I'm glad you talked some sense into her. What if there are diabetics there that require a balanced meal? Damned Atkins freaks.
As for Denial Bride...the groom needs to get away from that loon. He's a recovering alcoholic and she wants to get her drunk on? I bet she'll be blindsided if he relapses. Stupid, stupid self-centered idiots.

Posted by: Dave at May 30, 2007 01:49 PM

I can't believe people think eating nothing but meat counts as a diet.

Where were these people during 8th grade Health class??

Posted by: T at May 30, 2007 01:57 PM

I work for a wedding planner and I thought I'd seen most of the crazies, but Lo Carb Bride is definitely a new one!

Posted by: Max at May 30, 2007 03:16 PM

I've been reading for a while and I just wanted to thank you for making my days look a little more sane (in comparison)! Thanks for the smiles!

Posted by: sisterAE at May 30, 2007 03:48 PM

Only on your shirt? I remember the tappas when Evil David tried to puree watermelon for a watermelon granita, and the jar came undone- Watermelon puree was everywhere (counters, cabinets, floor, Evil David...) It took weeks before I found it all!

Posted by: Deborah Dowd at May 30, 2007 07:01 PM

I've maintained a 115lb. loss with Atkins, it's not JUST eating meat. I was diabetic and this way of eating has my blood sugar completely under control, I don't need my meds anymore! A "balanced", i.e. full o' starch, meal would send my blood sugar skyrocketing.

That being said, I think a low carb menu wedding is just a TAD selfish! When my sis got married she made sure my plate had no potatoes, but everything else on her menu was OK for me to eat. And she's a vegetarian but she was'nt crazy enough to try for a veggie wedding menu.

Posted by: nightwitch at June 2, 2007 08:59 PM

So funny. My daughter is a commercial photographer and has had her share of bridezilla and drunken reception tales to tell. Not fun to live through, but they give you great stories to share.

Posted by: Lynn at June 6, 2007 06:13 PM
 
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