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Potty Mouth
July 19, 2007

14.


That is the number of people who came into the kitchen to find out if dinner was ready.

Fourteen people, and not one of them was in any way associated with the wedding party, or the wedding planner. They were just guests - hungry guests - disgusted that food was not waiting for them.


The Wedding Planner was very clear - there would be a social/cocktail time. This would be the time that The Bride & Groom received their guests, and the time that their guests would have a nice cocktail and a few nibbles of Hors d’œuvres here and there.

But like all Wedding Tricks, there's always that cell of people who don't like the way things are planned and take it upon themselves to try and change the status quo.


We were (ok, I was) uncharacteristically nice to the Kitchen Mongers. They were greeted with a simple smile, and a much-practiced response of, "Dinner is at 7:30!". One member actually had the audacity to say, "Well who planned that? We're hungry. Let's get this show on the road."

How he stayed out of the oven is beyond me.


After the last Kitchen Monger came through, The Bride made an entrance. "Ok, I am hearing rumbles that people are coming in here wondering when food will be served."

I laughed and said, "You heard correctly."

"Is that common?", she asked.

"Oh there's always a few at every function."

"Well I won't have it. The next person who comes to this kitchen to ask, you tell them it is none of their damn business and to get their ass back out to their table and have a damn glass of wine. Sorry for the potty mouth, but I will not have people dictating how I run my own show. Nor will I have them harassing you. The assholes."

With that said she hiked her dress up to her knees and stomped out of the kitchen mumbling about stupid people.

Word must have gotten out, because not one more person came into the kitchen to ask. Which is a bummer, I really wanted to follow her orders...

Posted by Foodwhore at July 19, 2007 11:18 AM

That is too funny! Go her! Too bad you didn't get to 'follow her orders' though . . .

Posted by: sarah at July 19, 2007 12:22 PM

How do you do it? How do you keep your cool and not tell people to get the F out of your kitchen if they are not the bride, groom or wedding planner? How?

Furthermore, how do people have the gall to march into a kitchen and ask such questions?

When I grow up I want to be like you.

Posted by: AuntJone at July 19, 2007 12:26 PM

Good grief, they must have been born in a barn.
'Cause you know, food IS the most important thing in the world (at least to animals and 2 year old children it is). They are probably the same people to go to Costco at suppertime to eat so that they don't have to cook or buy food and then shove you to the ground during the stampede to get the samples of bread crumbs.

Posted by: Carmen at July 19, 2007 12:35 PM

I rather like that bride. Leadership material. Let us know if she runs for public office.

Posted by: Marsha at July 19, 2007 12:57 PM

Best. Bride. Ever.

Posted by: Garrett at July 19, 2007 02:22 PM

(giggle)...I agree with Martha....I would vote for her in a minute.

Posted by: Maureen at July 19, 2007 02:37 PM

That's what I call a customer of understanding. Tell her she can have her divorce-party at our place....

Posted by: fressack at July 19, 2007 03:48 PM

now now, those poor guests probably fasted all day in hopes of plentiful free food. they were hongry!!!

Posted by: Tonja at July 19, 2007 04:11 PM

Wow, she was one of the best bride ever eh? :)

Screw rude people, I just can't believe their guts. People are clueless.

Posted by: No-Nonsense girl at July 19, 2007 07:39 PM

We live in the era of the 'entitled & impatient'. Frankly, they make me tired.

Go Bride! Get control of that crowd.

Posted by: sue.g at July 19, 2007 09:45 PM

awe may she have many blessings on her married life. sounds like her head was screwed on straight.

Love the kitchen mongers. I always try to spill something on them. But you're nicer than I....

Posted by: speckledpup at July 20, 2007 09:11 AM

Good Bride!

Posted by: Sc at July 20, 2007 04:13 PM

I work for a wedding planner on the weekends and I know exactly what you mean. This past Saturday, I was working one and a man came up to me and asked - while servers were passing with food - if he had missed dinner, because his place was still without food. Smart ass. I can barely smile politely and chuckle - I don't know how you do it!

Posted by: Max at July 25, 2007 10:35 AM
 
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