Diary of The Food Whore: MENSA

MENSA

October 16, 2007

Busy night. Crazy, in fact. Many reservations - many not. But that's fine. It was a fantastic night.

Until about 8:00.

We had 8-top come in, and their timing was pretty bad. Not their fault. But a pre-emptive phone call would have helped.

Or, you know, a reservation.

Anyway tables were full, and most were either still dining or in the process of finishing up and convincing themselves they needed dessert.

So this group of 8 was told it will be at least 1/2 hour to 45 minutes. If they wanted to split up it would certainly be less. Their Group Leader - I will call her Brittle Betsey - replied... "What? On a Monday night at 8:00, are you kidding me?"

Yes. Yes we are kidding you. You caught us! You win the prize! It's a little game we like to play called Let's Make a Deal On Which Customer Is The First To Call Our Bluff On Wait Times.

"I know, I am sorry. It's been a crazy night for a Monday."

"Well that big group toward the back - I just saw their dinner plates being cleared. Certainly it won't be another 45 minutes for them."

"Well they are actually mulling desserts right now. And we rush no one."

Brittle Betsey folded her arms, rolled her eyes and went over to The Group to give them the down-low on the wait. No one seemed to mind, with one of them going so far as to say, "Well considering we didn't make a reservation, that's really not bad at all." I can't be certain, but I think his name tag said, "Hello my name is Chip, I am a member of MENSA."

Side Note: I was once being sarcastic (imagine) in mixed company and I jokingly said, "Oh yes, I am a card carrying member of MENSA". A lady in the room said, "Well since I am a woman I am a member of MENSA, too." She thought MENSA was... well.. menses.

You totally had to be there.

Anyway, where was I? Right, Chip. Smart one of the bunch. So the only person upset by all of this was Brittle Betsey. And do you know what she did about it? She made an excuse about using the restroom, but that woman went to that big table in the back and had the stainless steel balls to ask them how long they thought they would be.

SHE ASKED HOW LONG THEY THOUGHT THEY WOULD BE.

Fortunately the patrons were not offended by her rudeness - giving little thought to her - , nor were they worried about being in a hurry. They dismissed her as rude. They were celebrating a birthday and had no intentions of going anywhere.

I debated what to do. I mean, I have to admit that the idea of running at her full steam and screaming while waiving a spatula in the air was a vision that made me feel warm and fuzzy inside. But I went to her and said, "Excuse me, I would ask please that you not bother our seated guests."

"Oh come on. What's the big deal?"

I swear to you there is a small neon sign above our door that says 'Freaks Encouraged. Please come in.'

I know the look on my face said way more than I intended it to because Chip came over to get Betsey and tell her to sit down, apologizing to me all the way. But the damage was done. "I am sorry", I said. "It is probably best you find another place to dine. Our tables are full and we close at 9:00 tonight. I don't think we will be able to serve you."

Turning away customers is so not something I do, something I don't want to do. But oh my God I have to be honest to say I could feel my heartbeat at the tips of my fingers I was so mad. And I was so worried about making sure to keep my professionalism as not to offend anyone in the process of wanting to lunge at Betsey and take her to the ground.

I am really not prone to violence, though I do seem to express that desire a lot. So maybe I am. Maybe I need to bring this little issue up at the next MENSA meeting...

Posted by Foodwhore at October 16, 2007 02:00 PM

The scary thing is that if you attract this many crazy people, there are many, many, many more out there.

Posted by: Jen at October 17, 2007 04:23 PM

holy cow. I cannot believe she had the nerve to go pester someone at a table. Some people are just so rude its unbelievable...

Posted by: Megan at October 17, 2007 04:24 PM

I usually just lurk, but Oh My.

You are a model of restraint in the face of rudeness.

Posted by: Catherine Ragland at October 17, 2007 04:43 PM

OH yes....I am so proud of you. I am amazed you didn't bring out the broom and sweep her out the door like the trash.

Posted by: Maureen at October 17, 2007 05:54 PM

I have to say, your posts always crack me up and this one is no different. I kind of wanted to pee my pants with the mensa/menses side note. wow. Thats amazing. Thank you for having so many wonderful stories!

Posted by: Chae at October 17, 2007 07:44 PM

Thank you for having the balls to tell her to leave, maybe she learned something from this. I feel people need to stop condoning this abominable behavior. Although I know if was not something you wanted to do FW, however, I think you did the correct thing. You get a "BRAVO" from me!

Posted by: LisaInCT at October 17, 2007 08:09 PM

We have the same sign at our church's door.

Posted by: No Nonsense girl at October 17, 2007 10:08 PM

FW you get a standing "O" from me. I cannot believe the nerve of that woman. This air of entitlement that people wear has got to stop. I am so glad that you did not accommodate her group in any way. You would have had to stay late for this rude woman that probably doesn't tip b/c, no doubt, the service would not have been quite up to par (expectations being what they are) not to mention that she had to WAIT for a table. I hope her dismissal was not lost on her friends.

ps - i loved the MENSA side story - ha!

Posted by: sue.g at October 18, 2007 05:44 AM

What satisfaction in showing her the door. Well done.

Posted by: BC at October 18, 2007 06:42 AM

WOW. Just WOW. I don't know how you controlled yourself. I'd have laid the bitch out cold.

Posted by: AuntJone at October 18, 2007 08:32 AM

What a self absorbed retarded idiot that woman is. MAN that must have felt SO GOOD to refuse service to her.

My hat is off to you FW. :)

Posted by: Carmen at October 18, 2007 08:59 AM

i can't stop laughing over the mensa/menses irony. god if she only knew/had the capacity to understand. in seventeen years in the restaurant biz, i have to say that that is one of the most egregious host stories i've heard or experienced. "i don't think we will be able to serve you"-- brilliant. brava.

Posted by: vanessa at October 18, 2007 12:13 PM

I would have so given the seated guests dessert for FREE just to make a point!!

Posted by: Carolyn at October 18, 2007 01:00 PM

This makes me look a little less crazy. Of course, I am stuck being curious when/if ever these people realize how absolutely ridiculous they are. I worked in a grocery store and it boggles the mind how many people are rude, uncaring and just plain insane.

I'm waiting for The Lunge. The moment where you get so fed up with the crazies that you let loose all of the stuff in the basement. When that happens, I will applaud you for holding it in so long!

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Posted by: Meganjdk at October 21, 2007 02:13 PM

You are just SO FUNNY! That is absolutely all I wanted to say!

Posted by: Liz at October 24, 2007 12:30 PM

Oh my lord, I cannot believe the nerve of some people. She deserved to have her food thrown in her lap.

Posted by: Megan at October 24, 2007 08:00 PM