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This One? Or This One?
December 10, 2007

I think it's me.

I think my incessant talking and ridiculous insistence in engaging people in conversation freaks them out and makes them clam up for fear of making a life changing wrong decision.


So I am carving a gorgeous prime rib, sharing anecdotes as people come through graciously taking a slice for themselves when The Dean of the School of Indescision approached me.


"Hi there! Can I get you some..."

"Uh. Duh. But I don't want something too bloody."

Did he just say Duh?

Ok - Big smile from me.

"Oh no problem. I have some that are a little more done on this end."

"That's too big of a piece."

"Ok. I can cut this in half."

Blank Stare.

"Would you like me to cut this in half?"

"Yes."

"Ok, here you go..."

"I don't want that half."

"Oh. Ok no problem!"

More smiling, more praying a meteor would fall on his head.

"No. Wait."

"No you don't want that one?"

"No. I'm not sure. I want both."

"All righty, no problem!"

"No. Wait..."

In the mean time the line is piling up and I have a man to my right who is being so patient and so gracious, but who is looking at me like, "Just stab the SOB with your carving fork and I will help you hide the body."

"No. I just want that half."

"All righty. Here you go."

"No. Wait...that doesn't seem like enough."

"How about you just take both pieces and eat what you can. Have a great night!"

"But now that its on my plate I think it will be too much for me."


And then I did the only thing I could do - I kicked him in the shin and ran for the kitchen.


Ok so I really didn't do that.


But I totally wanted to.

Posted by Foodwhore at December 10, 2007 12:20 PM

And not a Jury in the world would have convicted you!

Posted by: Heather at December 10, 2007 07:20 PM

I think you should have just stared at him until the awkwardness of the situation finally made him walk away. Wait, I'm probably giving him too much credit. Seriously - where DO these people spawn from? I'm convinced all people in the food business that deal with these people are shooting straight up to heaven when they die.

Posted by: TaratheFoodie at December 10, 2007 08:53 PM

Would it have been so terrible for him just to take half and then come back for seconds if he wants it? Oops...sorry FW....then that would mean you having to help him make up his mind for him again....I don't know about you, but I wouldn't want to go through that again.

Posted by: Carmen at December 11, 2007 07:45 AM

I can just hear him thinking, "Maybe 'indecisive' isn't *quite* the right word . . ." Kudos to you for not skewering him in a highly unfortunate place.

Posted by: mizburd at December 11, 2007 08:12 AM

I think you should have kicked him.

But not in the shin.

Posted by: david at December 11, 2007 08:35 AM

just ponder what he will say at his wedding...

Posted by: frau mo at December 11, 2007 09:47 AM

gotta love whomever came up with-- "the customer's always right".

douchebag

Posted by: struglas at December 11, 2007 12:35 PM

And this man is a college dean? That's scary. Damn scary.

Posted by: AuntJone at December 12, 2007 08:09 AM
 
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