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« Life Lessons For The Week | Main | A State of Indiference » Pandemic Responsibility
January 25, 2008
Life comes at you fast; fierce and without warning. It's like running across the living room carpet to reach for the phone on a cold winter morning, and nearly being dropped by the electrical shock you get when picking up the receiver. And then when you get off the phone and head to change out of your workout clothes you get shocked again and trip over your the boot that didn't quite make it into the closet last night and get a fat lip. Fast - like that. The last couple of weeks have been blazing, this week being the worst, actually. I feel like I am walking around with a bullseye on my forehead taunting everyone in my path to take their best shot. And people - you all have great aim. What's a girl gotta do to catch a break? I've been nicer. I don't sigh and roll my eyes at the people who cut me off at The Grocery Store. I laughed when the little boy standing in line with his mother at the bank threw up on my shoe. I even went to - gulp - Costco with a spring in my step on a desperate run for a wedge of Parmesan.
And I look forward to January at The Restaurant because it is a time of transition - tweaking the menus, raising prices, doing a little light remodel here and there. And no one complains, everyone expect the change. And life goes on as it should. It's different, and the difference is embraced. But some things - well - they never change. Because one day you get called out of the kitchen to be blasted by a patron who thinks your salads are way too big, and that you are single-handedly responsible for the obesity pandemic. Apparently our generous portions are a grotesque display of American greed, and completely irresponsible in our enablement of people's expanding waistlines. And you know - even after being informed of an infraction worthy of UN invervention, I still smiled. And I simply said, "So I guess no dessert for you, then?"
Posted by Foodwhore at January 25, 2008 11:12 AM 
Yeah, it's those giant salads making us all fat. Posted by: Ei at January 25, 2008 11:48 AM Because if he eats the whole low caloric salad he won't feel like eating the high caloric dessert and will have to feel bloated after. Posted by: ntsc at January 25, 2008 12:02 PM The only epidemic we have in this country is lack of personal responsibility and accountability for what we put in our own mouths. Since when are cooks and purveyors of food charged with being mothers to any and all? Sheesh. I'm pissed off for you. But you don't need me for that - your comeback was awesome. Posted by: Laura at January 25, 2008 12:13 PM "The last couple of weeks have been blazing, this week being the worst, actually. I feel like I am walking around with a bullseye on my forehead taunting everyone in my path to take their best shot." Glad to see you've been keeping me company all week! Geez... I wish they'd give us BOTH a break! Posted by: LisaInCT at January 25, 2008 01:17 PM I've worked in my share of restaurants and I swear, I don't know if you are in the Bermuda Crapangle for weird customers or if you're just an *hole magnet. I swear, someone oughtta do a study. Or a reality tv show. ;) Posted by: Shelley at January 25, 2008 04:25 PM Is it possible that by your being "nice", people somehow sense your niceness like a dog smells fear and decide you are an easy mark? Or possibly is this your karma finaly coming back on a long trajectory like Haley's Comet? If it makes you feel any better, somebody threw up on my shoes on New Years Eve. I like to think of it as a good luck omen, purging of bad spirits, ditching one's troubles, etc... I hope you do as well, and that the New Year treats you well... PS - Where did we hide the hot buttered rum recipe again? Posted by: John at January 25, 2008 06:16 PM The only real epidemic I see in this country is this sense of entitlement people seem to have. I wish I could buy you an hour and half massage and a bottle of red wine. Take care. Posted by: sue.g at January 25, 2008 06:57 PM Damn girl, it's about time you go Ramsay on their asses. Posted by: Raging Lunatic at January 25, 2008 10:03 PM Oh my. My heart goes out to you...and I have to come out of lurkdom long enough to let you know that you always, ALWAYS make me laugh with your clever posts. If you ever leave the food industry, the writer's world would be a perfect fit. And AMEN to Laura. Lack of personal responsibility...an epidemic!! Posted by: Carolie at January 26, 2008 11:40 PM I shall delurk as well. That was a gem of a comeback! Well done keeping your cool when crazy was raining down in buckets! Posted by: Jennifer at January 27, 2008 02:08 PM I am always amazed at how you and the Partner hold it together in the face of these horrible people. I fly off the handle at way smaller stuff. Seems to me, if someones that health conscious, he/she should stay home and grow his/her own food and not bother lovely people like you. You are a saint. Posted by: DotC at January 28, 2008 02:00 PM  |