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« So How Was It? | Main | Some Indication » Did You Want Floor Mats, Too?
February 06, 2008
You never really know what you are going to get from a person until you sit across the desk from them. Phone meetings mean nothing - really - because everyone seems reasonably sane when planning a meeting. No - it really isn't until you sit face to face that you get full value of what you are dealing with. And then it's too late to run - you just have to deal and play nice until they leave and you can lose your biscuits in private.
"Well this all sounds wonderful. Here is my offer." It caught me off guard. Offer? Was she going to give me a gift for being such an awesome person? Was she going to exchange my services for something fabulous like a trip to Italy? No - no - by 'offer' she meant what she was willing to pay. All neatly written and folded with creases on a piece of white notebook paper. She slid the paper across the desk like I used to do in the 4th grade when I was the go-between for Shelly and Jake at what was the beginning of a long love affair that lasted well into recess. I looked at the paper with what I am sure was a very stunned look on my face. "Is this for me?" "Yes. That is the offer I am making." "Offer?" I asked, looking back and forth between Dealing Dolly and Her Mother. "Uh huh!” she said brightly. "My offer of what I am willing to pay."
"Well. I don't really know what to say." "Oh open it first; I think you will be happy!" Only if there's a million dollars in there. I obliged, not wanting to be a total ass. And as I opened the paper I bit my lip a little to hide the guffaw that was ready to slip its way out of my mouth like a too-hot slurp of soup. "See, the thing is. That really is not how this works." "Oh, well. See. I was raised to never take things at face value. I am a girl who likes to deal." And I am a Food Whore who needs a drink. "And I can appreciate that. But..." And as I spoke she dropped her head and started writing. "I was prepared for this. So here is another..." I held my hand up. And I smiled, shook my head a little, and took a deep breath. "No. What I was going to say was - the price I gave you? It is not a suggestion or something I randomly throw out. It is, well, it is what it is. And I do not mean to sound trite, but, it just is what it is." "Well I know everyone is willing to deal..." "Well not everyone. I am willing to deal, so to speak, if you are not comfortable with the price given. We can make adjustments to the menu to meet your needs." "But you want my business, right?" "Well I want to work with anyone who wants to work with me. It is not always a right fit - this is a very personal thing. And if we don't mesh - we don't mesh. But the price is the price." She looked at Her Mother, who tilted her head a little, and began writing again. I held up my hand, "Really. I don't want to make this a bad experience. But I am not in the business to barter. If you want what we have, fabulous. If you don't - that is ok, too." She sat with a dejected look on her face. And Her Mother interjected, "Well can we take some time to think about it? And maybe give you time to think about it?" "Of course you can take time to think about it. But I can tell you that what I have on paper is set in stone. We can create a menu that is comfortable for you. But - the price is just... it." Dealing Dolly put the cap back on her pen and let out a big sigh. "Well", she said. "Just so you know we have another meeting with XYZ Catering right after this." "That's great", I said. "I encourage people to look around - to find the right fit." "Well I just wanted you to be aware. I think, maybe, they will be more open to my offers." I smiled, closed my notebook and said, "Well I hope you find what you are looking for. If you have any further questions please don't hesitate to give me a call." And they left. And I immediately called The Partner to fill her in. And we laughed. Really, really hard. And then we hung up, I contemplated different ways I could beat my head on my desk.
Posted by Foodwhore at February 6, 2008 08:58 PM 
Actually, you should look for ways to beat their head on your desk. They deserve it more than you. (Although I don't think they'd look so good in their wedding pictures with 2 black eyes...) Posted by: David at February 6, 2008 11:04 PM Can I come and be your just sit there watching the people person. I can't stop laughing. Posted by: Patsy at February 6, 2008 11:31 PM Next time counter with your own paper showing an even higher price that you originally quoted and then watch their expression! LOL your writing is truelly delightful! Posted by: Bill at February 7, 2008 03:40 AM I've had people come in without realizing that they would have to pay for my services, but no one has actually tried to bargain with me like that. Yet. I do not look forward to it! Posted by: Danielle at February 7, 2008 04:18 AM As my mother would say, "That just beats all". Dealing Dolly probably read that 'tip' in some bride magazine. I like the idea of countering with a higher estimate based on the fact that she is going to be a pain in the butt. Geez! Posted by: sue.g at February 7, 2008 04:47 AM "And I am a Food Whore who needs a drink." Classic! And I love your writing. Posted by: walktrotcanter at February 7, 2008 07:17 AM at least you have someone to laugh with later, right? Posted by: chanelle at February 7, 2008 07:24 AM sue.g, I think you nailed it with it being a tip from a bridal magazine! Those can be such a disservice! Posted by: Mia at February 7, 2008 09:32 AM Thank you for sharing -- as the sales side of the house for our event company I consider myself warned and ready for crazed note-writers (see comment by Mia above). Posted by: Bek at February 7, 2008 09:46 AM This story leaves me speechless. I never cease to be amazed at the stupidity in the world. Posted by: Bean at February 7, 2008 09:48 AM You should have called XYZ to give them a heads up. Perhaps evil, but surely deserved. 8) Posted by: LibraryGryffon at February 7, 2008 09:56 AM maybe I can try that with my mechanic. or at the gas station? how's about the grocery store? definitely worth a shot, right? ;) Posted by: Tonja at February 7, 2008 10:48 AM Most excellent !!! Any possibility of a follow-up? From XYZ? Priceless. Biggles Posted by: Dr. Biggles at February 7, 2008 01:11 PM I just *love* these stories. Truth really is stranger than fiction. Gotta love crazy people. Posted by: Molly at February 7, 2008 03:31 PM You definitely should have countered w/a higher price - call it an "aggrevation tax".... Posted by: Tiberia at February 7, 2008 03:44 PM  |