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« Well Done... Done Well | Main | The Dog Ate My Homework » Pepper Jack
May 08, 2008
I'm a Snooze Pusher.
And it's not that I am lazy (actually, I am totally lazy) it's that I cannot bear to hear such an offensive sound in the morning. Why can't they create an alarm which reaches out and gives you a gentle nudge? "Wake up sleepy head" in a voice all soothing like The Fairy Godmother. Although I suppose even that would get old and I would find myself seeking out The Fairy Godmother to get her in an arm lock and suffocate her with my pillow. And the worst part of all of it is I don't even need the alarm. I set it out of fear that tomorrow morning will be the day I over sleep. And yet every day - like clockwork - I wake up exactly 30 minutes before my alarm is set to go off. And instead of getting up like a normal person, I rationalize I've got a few more minutes. Only that few more minutes turns into 3 (ok 9) Snooze Pushes. And this all goes down at the un-Godly hour of 5:30 in the AM. Another bad habit... well... I should clarify. The Husband calls it a bad habit, I just think it makes good sense... I leave my cell phone on through the night. My rationale is that it is good to let the battery wear itself down. And my other rationale is that there could be a time when there is a crisis in the middle of the night and people need to reach me - I tend to straddle the "I am so important" fence - though no one has actually ever called. Although lets be honest - the truth of the matter is that I shove the thing in my purse and forget about it. Anyway. There have been times where The Friend in Alabama sends me one of her awesome "Have A Great Day!" texts and they come through at 4:30 in the morning. And it used to wake me up and startle me a bit. But now I sleep right through it. Or if it does wake me up I holler, "you have a great day, too!" and then The Husband kicks me and I go back to sleep.
My heart was racing. It was 5:41 exactly and I feared the worst. No good news comes in the form of a phone call at that time of the morning. So I quick pushed all the buttons to retrieve the message. "Hi. It's The Client. I know, I know. It's crazy to be calling at this time of the morning. But I have been awake all night putting the last minute touches on things and I started to freak out. Just so we are clear - you are not using Pepper Jack on the cheese trays, are you? I know you gave me a list of the cheeses you will be using, but I started to panic and ask myself what if you used pepper jack. Which isn't even in the ballpark of what you are doing. But we hate pepper jack. And I could not get my mind off that damn pepper jack. So I am sure you're not using it. But I had to leave you this message to get it off my mind. By the time you get this I am sure you will be laughing that I was stressing at this ridiculous hour. So I will talk to you later. Have a great day." Half way during that message The Husband came over and sat down next to me waiting to see what was so urgent. And as soon as I started avoiding eye contact he raised his eyebrow and started to laugh. I hung up my phone and he said, "So...?" and I looked up at the ceiling and bit my lip. "Pepper jack crisis." "Pepper jack crisis." "Yes. Hugely important. Very serious." He nodded. "Yes. Very serious."
Posted by Foodwhore at May 8, 2008 10:01 AM
you crack me up. Posted by: steph at May 8, 2008 11:41 AM Who doesn't like pepper jack!? But more importantly, who stays up all night stressing over their dislike of pepper jack!? Posted by: kellyr2 at May 8, 2008 12:05 PM Funny stuff...and it sounds eerily familiar... Here's a link to a progressive alarm...it might help. http://www.hammacher.com/publish/70460.asp?promo=hl_bedroom Posted by: j at May 8, 2008 12:10 PM My favorite thing to do for events is sculpt a pepper jack statue of the bride. Posted by: Kirstin at May 8, 2008 12:16 PM I agree. Who doesn't like Pepper Jack?! What about having the dulcet tones of Stephen Fry as Jeeves wake you up in the morning? http://www.voco.uk.com/ I got one of these for an ex-boyfriend, and I wish I could have stolen it when I moved out. Posted by: MsMolly at May 8, 2008 12:24 PM My personal wedding-pepperjack was Bruce Springsteen. I told the dj that if anything even remotely sounding like the boss was played because my new husband's east-coast coworkers bribed or threatened him, that what i did to him would make him unable to work a turntable for the rest of his life. Of course I told him this at a respectable hour, not 530am! Posted by: Shelley at May 8, 2008 04:14 PM That's hilarious. Poor thing even knew how crazy it was to be worried about it, but brains are funny creatures, you know? My bet is that there's something else stressful about the event that's too scary to actually think about, so the mind just sort of redirects that worry to something a little more controllable. Posted by: Jacqueline at May 8, 2008 04:14 PM I love pepper jack. I don't know what those people's problem is. Also - it's not good to let your cell phone battery wind down. It shortens it's life. At least that's what my manual said. Posted by: amanda at May 8, 2008 06:04 PM Me, I would have given her pepper jack where the sun don't shine but that's me. Posted by: Annie at May 8, 2008 07:08 PM Those tricky shoes....they will get you every time. Posted by: Gila at May 9, 2008 05:05 AM I do love the progressive clock - so soothing. But this clock is absolutely great too (If you like Jeeves that is): Posted by: Katy at May 9, 2008 07:19 AM I do the Snooze period, too. And I can mentally add the nine minutes to the time to see if I DO have to get up, or if I can go for another Snooze period--something I can no way do when I'm fully awake. Math is not my friend. Posted by: Kris at May 9, 2008 10:37 AM |