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No - I am not still on the couch. Though that would be nice.

I have actually spent the last two weeks staning on line behind the man at the crab display during brunch at Salty's.

Good God man it's crab, not gold boullion.

I swear to you, whether I am serving a buffet or browsing one, there never fails to be that person who believes that if he does not fill his plate to tipping capacity that the world will stop spinning and he will flail into space without getting his share of some tasty snack.

We met friends there - Salty's on Alki - for a birthday celebration brunch. The weather was gorgeous and it was nice to have the chance to eat someone else's food for a change. I have to admit, however, that I spent the majority of my time people watching - as I am want to do - and shaking my head at all the crazy people hoarding food like it was their last meal before The Big One. Though with the price of gas maybe they figured this was their last meal since they would soon be stuck at home not able to afford the $5698 it costs to even put gas in their Prius.

The Crab Man seemed to be right in front of me at all times. And given that I personally hate the buffet mentality it made me uneasy - like he in turn was watching me and making a fast track to whatever place in line I would be as to get the very last of whatever it is I wanted. The crab was the kicker. I wanted to badly to tell him I don't even like the stuff but he was too busy sweating as he tucked his plate into his chest to give the Pile O' Crustacean some stability. He just kept piling and piling and piling like these tiny crab legs were the very last crab legs ever to be harvested and by God he was going to get his share. And then some. I finally had to reach around him to grab some pineapple and managed to give a heavy sigh within his earshot so maybe he would get the hint to back away from the buffet already and give someone else a shot.

Watching him head back to his table taking very careful steps was somewhat comical. I kept waiting for a server with a tray full of plates to walk by and disrupt his flow and cause him to wobble a bit, maybe dropping a leg or two. But that never happened. Though if it did I would not have seen it. I was too rude to sit down before I ate a chunk of pineapple insisting, instead, to eat a piece as I walked and then I tripped a little and dropped it down my shirt while and entire 8-Top watched it all unfold.

That entire word picture is a metaphor for the last two weeks - people hoarding food, me sighing while watching, and ultimately misstepping to my own displeasure.

So things are the same here - just been a little to busy to tell you all about it.

Posted by Foodwhore at June 4, 2008 11:21 PM