Diary of The Food Whore: Mind Boggling

Mind Boggling

June 11, 2008

It's Graduation time and I've spent my share of the last few weeks cranking out fruit platters and salads and salmons and all sort of goodies for all sorts of graduates. Its fun work, actually. Creative little meals I can drop of or that get picked up and I still have enough time at the end of the day to have a nice cocktail. Or, you know, 4.

I don't do contracts for this kind of work which makes me a bit of a renegade in this industry. Its small piece work, its quick, people pay cash up front and it all turns over really fast. It can be a nice change from meat carving and hauling around platter after platter of crudite' and the like.

A Client Called - we will call her Tight Tammy - and ordered the same for her son's party that she had for her daughter last year. No problem, easy work, pick it up at 10:00 a.m. on Saturday. When she asked how much it would be I gave her the total, we exchanged pleasantries and I went on about my business.

Not 10 minutes later the phone rang and it was Tight Tammy. "Um, yeah. Say. I was looking over my records from last year and this year the price is significantly higher. Why?"

My first thought was to laugh. But I was kind, and patient, and explained to her that food costs have gone up. The price of gas has gone up. Had I known what I do now - that Mercury was in retrograde - I would have used that, too.

She sat in silence for a minute, and I asked, "Hello?" wondering if she had hung up on me or if she were figuring out the national debt in her mind.

"Well", she said. "I guess I am a bit taken aback. I still don't understand what that has to do with me paying a higher price."

I don't know if this woman lives in a hut at the far edge of civilization or she failed to pay attention in economics, but I do know I was able to end the conversation politely and hang up the phone without guffawing and calling her an idiot.

I would like to think I am growing.

Or perhaps I finally have enough liquor in my system that it all just seems to level out.

Posted by Foodwhore at June 11, 2008 09:00 PM

Maybe both. God knows, I hate it when people complain that prices went up. Especially since they still tip the same amount as they did when prices were lower.

Posted by: Leslie at June 11, 2008 10:47 PM

I get stuff like that all day at my work. I work at a bank and people always call for their balances. And once I tell them they are negative they never fail to say "Why is it negative?" Because you spent all your money! Lemon drops, lemon drops drink them up, yum!

Posted by: Jen at June 12, 2008 05:05 AM

"Why I remember when I could get (insert item here) for only (insert price here)! What could have made the price go up?" We had a man who came into our ice cream store repeatedly and complained, "I can get that same coffee drink at any gas station in town for just a buck." When I pointed out the window to the gas station across the street, he would reply, "I like yours better."

Posted by: Old Geezer at June 12, 2008 12:49 PM

You should just quietly add an idiot tax onto the cost of the food. Maybe about 50%?

Posted by: Emily at June 13, 2008 07:56 AM

Or you could just refer to the increase itself as an Idiot Tax.
"Strawberries are so expensive now! They're a dollar more a container than last year. Why is that?"
"Idiot tax. Price is inclusive."

Posted by: Katie at June 13, 2008 10:08 PM

while travelling in India for over four months we begen to realise there was one price for us the tourists and then about 2/3rds off was the price for the locals. When we enquired it was explained quite openly that it was 'skin tax'. Fair enough really when you come from the western world with dollars to spend on a holiday which will cost more than some of the locals would earn in a year or two.

Posted by: Honey at June 13, 2008 11:48 PM