Diary of The Food Whore: Shrimp, Prawns, Whatever.

Shrimp, Prawns, Whatever.

July 02, 2008

I've grown to loathe The Shrimp.

Big. Small. Hot. Cold. Sauteed. Wrapped in bacon. (Mmmm. Bacon. Ok maybe not those.) Tempura dipped. You name it. I hate them.

I feel like my body is starting to curve and a tail is sprouting out my arse.

It's all we do these days, it seems, is load shrimp onto a platter and serve them to the masses. And people - people go nuts for them.

For those of you not in this area - it was hot this weekend. Not like Eastern Seabord Hot with all that humidity. But considering it was a mere 58 about a week ago, 94 is hot. Damn hot. And I am not complaining because quite frankly I was starting to mold.

But I felt bad for the wedding party - all dressed in their black tuxes in all that 94 degrees. I myself was standing with my head shoved in the freezer to keep that ever unnatractive, "Ohmygod did you see how much the caterer was sweating" sweat from rolling down my face.

So when I made up the platter of the aforementioned chilled shrimp (or prawns for those of you Down Under) I gagged a little. I am just tired of seeing them. And as much as we try to get people to think outside the box a little, it all comes down to one fat fact: People love them.

This was just a small amount - part of a little "Nibble Table" we put out to entertain guests while chairs were moved to the place where the main course would be served. But as I set them down Mr. Groomsmen - sweating profusely - hunched over the display like a mad scientist and started digging in. I mean like dipping, slurping, belching digging in. And then dropping the tails right there on the platter.

I started to mumble, "don't do that" while shaking my head. But he didn't hear me. He groaned, "I love me some shrimp, prawns, whatever these are." And like a heard of stray cats on an open can of tuna people just pounced on that platter like they had not a care in the world. So I stepped back, turned an about face and went back to the kitchen.

The Partner could tell by the look on my face something was up and was just starting to ask when A Server came into the kitchen and said, "It's like Buy One Get One Free Day at Red Lobster out there."

And without saying a word I stuck my head in the freezer - praying the little ice crystals would morph into liquor.

Posted by Foodwhore at July 2, 2008 12:11 AM

They have been grossing me out for a while- my mom thinks the only place to eat in the ENTIRE WORLD is Red Lobster. And the only thing to eat there is shrimp. sorry, she would be one of the shrimp-gobbling masses. I, however, would not. :)

Posted by: Tonja at July 2, 2008 08:14 AM

Oh, man, I love when you write about events - weddings, especially.

Except it makes me worry what the caterer thought of ours...

*i cannot control the actions of others, only myself...*

Posted by: Laura at July 2, 2008 08:19 AM

Think of shrimp as bait and people as wild game.

Gives a whole new slant to your success in feeding them.

Posted by: BC at July 2, 2008 10:07 AM

Ha! I was talking to someone from your way, about that time. They were all twitterpated about receiving our heatwave, from down here. I had to giggle, we're about as prepared as you are for those temps. Glad to see it was well received there, as it was here.

Biggles

Posted by: Dr. Biggles at July 2, 2008 11:21 AM

You are so right. People really do go hog wild over shrimp. I don't know what it is. I don't even like them that much myself, but even I'll eat them at parties. People act like they're the last shrimp they'll ever eat again and just pile their plates. You should see us southerners tear up some shrimp at a party. Lord have mercy. I've often said you can always judge how good a party was by the amount and size of the shrimp they served. If there's no shrimp, well there's just no point in going at all then, I suppose. You know what's worse? Crab legs. I have seen people get into fist fights over a crab leg on a buffet line. Luckily these rarely make an appearance at events.

Posted by: Wide Lawns at July 2, 2008 02:58 PM

We've had good prices on XL cooked shrimp here in Boston. Reading your post, I realized I've had shrimp three times in the last two weeks. It felt like such a treat to just peel and eat those suckers, dredged in spicy cocktail sauce goodness... But about half way through this last batch, I hit my limit and just couldn't eat another one. Guess I've had my fill for awhile -- at least until the next wedding.

Posted by: Aimee at July 3, 2008 07:23 AM

I feel your pain. I work part-time as a catering waitress, and I hate walking the shrimp platter. Not only is it always heavy, but people call you "shrimp girl," swarm you so you can't even reach the bride & groom (who are, you know, paying for the guests to gorge themselves on appetizers), and try to drop the shrimp tails (or toothpicks, or balled-up napkins, or whatever) back onto the tray with the uneaten shrimp. It is so unbelievably disgusting.

The fact that I don't eat shrimp anyway probably doesn't help.

Posted by: Claire at July 3, 2008 03:24 PM

shrimp are good....with grits...

Posted by: Chris at July 4, 2008 08:33 AM