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« The Gasp... | Main | Easy Like Sunday Morning » ...And The Drag Queen
September 30, 2008
...So I quickly grabbed a bottle of wine and put my arm through the arm of The Mother of The Bride - My Client. I led her back to the kitchen, gave her a chair and poured her a glass of wine. She had said nothing up to this point, but I could tell she was starting to cry. "What in the Hell just happened? Who says such things?" she asked. I sighed. "I was surprised, too. Drag Queens are usually so much nicer in person." She blinked a few times. "What?" "Drag Queens. I've met a few in my travels. They are usually quite fun and complimentary." She started to laugh. "Well seriously. All that make-up. And I am almost positive I smelled Aqua Net." She nodded as she drank the wine. "She did have really stiff hair." "Right. Although someone needs to tell her that she's got as much back fat as a prize North Carolina Hog. And squeezing it into all that pink chiffon, strapless no less, is not a good look." And then she started to howl. "You are a beautiful, stunning woman. That person is a troll. Don't you let her get the best of you." The Groom had entered the kitchen without us knowing it. "She's right", he said. "She's a total troll." And he began to laugh, too. He apologized profusely to The Client. He was devastated and wanted her to know how much he loved her. It was very sweet.
Before I had a chance to speak The Client said, "No. Sorry. I am taking all the food home. Us fat girls like to eat." And I lost it. Posted by Foodwhore at September 30, 2008 07:23 PM 
brilliant! I love that she recovered so very gracefully and came back swinging! Posted by: gaile at September 30, 2008 09:15 PM First - major props to you for supporting the client! Second - what a great son in law he will be and Third - go MOB! Love it! Posted by: Alida at September 30, 2008 09:41 PM the son-in-law is great and the mother of the bride is made of complete win! XD Posted by: alexis at October 1, 2008 12:28 AM you are the most wonderful person to pour her that glass of wine and speak the words you did... I'm sure you are an honorary member of her list of "best friends" now. Posted by: Carly at October 1, 2008 03:26 AM Well done on you, The Client and The Groom! Posted by: Maria at October 1, 2008 03:56 AM Priceless! And you FW win the "caring caterer" award! Bravo!!! Posted by: LisaInCT at October 1, 2008 04:18 AM Wow! And thanks for the update. May the troll try and hire you and may you have the pleasure of turning her down. Posted by: jwg at October 1, 2008 05:28 AM HELL YEAH!!!! Posted by: Tonja at October 1, 2008 06:44 AM Brava to you, the client and the groom. I'm sure that glass of wine was a huge save of the evening, and I am os thankful on the client's behalf that *you* were the one tricking! Posted by: Alice at October 1, 2008 08:35 AM OH SHIT YEAH !!!! Yay, the world doesn't totally suck today. Biggles Posted by: Dr. Biggles at October 1, 2008 12:52 PM Very nice save, FW. You are a consummate professional. Posted by: servlet at October 1, 2008 10:50 PM Awesome! I love The Client. Posted by: Mona at October 2, 2008 07:16 AM Can you imagine what hell the bride is in for? Posted by: maxie at October 2, 2008 07:57 AM You go girls! Big smile on this one. Posted by: Nes at October 2, 2008 10:18 AM I wish I needed to hire you for something :) Posted by: Madzillah at October 2, 2008 12:50 PM Excellent recovery. How did the groom turn out so great with such nightmare mother? Posted by: pamela at October 2, 2008 02:27 PM VERY WELL DONE by you, MOB and SIL!!! Beautiful! Posted by: Karen at October 2, 2008 06:56 PM Wonderful! Posted by: Ellen-Mary at October 2, 2008 07:39 PM You and Mother of the Bride are both women to be admired. You both sound like people I'd love to have as friends. Hurray for you both! (And hurray for the bride, who sounds as if she's getting quite a lovely husband!) Posted by: carolie at October 4, 2008 12:33 AM Bravo! Thanks for the laugh... Posted by: Steamy Kitchen at October 4, 2008 07:44 AM Go MOB! Posted by: Jamie at October 4, 2008 04:40 PM  |