Diary of The Food Whore: Ma'am, Yes, Ma'am.

Ma'am, Yes, Ma'am.

October 15, 2008

As I am always want to say I love a good Wedding Planner. (*WP)

There's no fuss, no confusion, no random guest coming into The Kitchen to ask where the bathroom is. A good Wedding Planner can have a function run like a well-oiled machine.

Although as I found out - there is such a thing as 'too good'.

This Wedding Planner was - and this is something My Friends in California, Wisconsin, Baltimore, North Carolina and Boston will appreciate - a Master Sergeant in the United States Marine Corps. I have no idea how she transitioned from that job to this one, but nothing she learned from The Mighty Corps was lost in translation.

The first meeting we took with her was laden with shooting looks across the table from The Partner. The WP wore a sensible grey suit and spoke in very clear and concise sentences. "You will arrive at 18:00. You will be announced at 18:05. Your guest will arise at your annoucement. There will be a toast, no more than 100 words in length. Your guest will then be seated. First course on the table at 18:30..." She was never rude. Just not - warm and gushy. Very professional. Methodic. Very exact and firm.

When she left The Client said, "I apologize for The WP. I know she seems stern. But she has been fantastic. She recently retired from The Marine Corps." "Ah Ha!", I said. And then I started laughing, it all made sense to me then. I know the type, all too well.

So the day of The Event we were in The Kitchen doing what we do, and The WP was out on the floor doing what she does when all of a sudden The Florist came runnin the kitchen gasping for breath.

"Can you... *gasp*... help... *gasp*... for a second...*gasp*..."

We came out to see what was going on and The WP was not at all happy with the layout of some of the tables. She wanted them moved - pronto - and started pointing and using her Big Girl Voice. Not shouting - just - deep and commanding. And she was moving them right along with the rest of ut. We weren't offended in the least, she was just doing her job.

But I am not going to lie, we moved a table in the wrong direction and her cadence changed to get our attention...And I think I peed a little.

Posted by Foodwhore at October 15, 2008 06:58 PM

I think I laughed so hard...I peed a little. Thanks for the post!

Posted by: Mia at October 16, 2008 06:59 AM

I stumbled across your site a couple weeks ago and have been catching up on the archives. I just want to thank you for making me laugh, shake my head and wonder how you can be such a magnet for eejits! Your writing is wonderful, hilarious, and so bloody honest! You write the way I'd like to be able to write. Keep it up. I, too, am an 80's girl (class of '84), so those references have really taken me down memory lane. Thanks.

Posted by: Meg at October 16, 2008 07:08 AM

Early is on time, on time is late, and late is unacceptable.

Thank you for sharing this story!

Posted by: Bek at October 16, 2008 08:44 AM

Ha! My husband is a MSgt in the USAF and we call that "Sergeant Voice" around here. It's like mommy voice x 100.

Posted by: heather at October 16, 2008 03:42 PM

I laughed out loud at this post when I got to the end. I love, love, love this blog; now even more.

I've suspected you had military experience or some sort of background involvement in some way. I'm a former Corp. Chef for a company that had a catering company, white tablecloth restaurant, jazz club, bbq place. So everything you say really resonates with me, and I love how pragmatic you are. My husband often tells me that I should have been a Marine. Currently, he's deployed for a year and will be home again next July.

I truly love the Corps, especially that "special something" Marines have. Once a Marine, always a Marine. And female Marines... they are even more impressive to me.

Posted by: Laurie at October 16, 2008 06:25 PM

Ball Duty=Wedding Planner Training?

Semper Fi!

Posted by: Barb at October 17, 2008 12:19 AM

Not Marines, as you know, but the old Army guy can do that voice quite nicely. So I have a pretty good idea what the WP was like and I'm surprised she survived to plan another wedding.

Posted by: Annie at October 17, 2008 10:22 AM

sorry, grammar police here
in that first sentence you meant "as I am wont to say..."
the always is redudant, and the spelling is wont, not want

not that it matters, but its a pet peeve of mine because people never understand when i use it!

Posted by: owl at October 17, 2008 01:18 PM